love?

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I've been dating this guy for a couple of months. Which is strange for me because I don't typically commit. I'm more of a fuck them and leave them kind of person. I don't like having labels or strings attached. I don't do it because I like to. I just have a fear of commitment. Everyone I've ever loved, left me. My dad, 3 ex-boyfriends, all of my friends. It's just easier to not get hurt if you don't get attached. I can't even remember the last time I said I love someone. 

But this guy, Shawn, has entered my life and I don't want him to leave. He's funny and sweet and just mesmerizing. I'm scared. I'm scared he'll leave me just like everyone else. Shawn knows I have commitment issues but yet, he still enjoys spending time with me. He's so patient which makes him even more incredible.

"Hey babe." Shawn said as he entered my apartment.

"Hey! How are you?" I asked.

"Great, now." He smirked as he leaned in for a kiss.

I smiled into the kiss. 

"So, what are we doing tonight?" He asked, pulling away.

"Well, I thought we'd just stay in and watch a movie."

"Sounds great." He smiled. "So, my mom would to meet you, this weekend."

My face fell. Meeting parents? That means we're serious. I don't think I'm ready for serious.

"Oh Shawn, I don't, uh, I don't think I'm ready for that."

"Come on, y/n, we've been going out for 3 months. I talk about you all the time. She really would like to meet you." 

"I don't think I'm ready to be that serious."

"Am I just wasting my time?" He muttered.

"What?" I asked, shocked.

"Seriously? Am I just wasting my time with this? With us? Are we ever going to go anywhere?" He shouted.

"Shawn, please-" 

"I understand your commitment problems but y/n, I don't want to be in a pointless relationship. I want to grow with you and build with you. I can't be in a relationship that isn't go anywhere. I should just go." He said grabbing his coat and heading for the door.

"Shawn, wait!" I yelled.

"What?"

"I love you."

"You what?" He said, shocked.

"I love you." I smiled.

"You love me?" He beamed.

"I love you. And I would love to meet your mom. I know, it's been hard for you but I want to grow with you too. It's just a slow process. I'll get better at this, I promise." I rambled.

"I love you." He said, hugging me.


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