Dangerous Confessions

I Can See You Were Inspired

-You're having an effect on me...
-Come here...
Dec's lips were soft and gentle against mine, but I couldn't hold back anymore. I'm proud to say that I kissed him like no one had before. I went as far as I could into his mouth, swallowing his moans, keeping him from breathing. His arms curled lovingly around my neck and I took the opportunity to take him into my arms and carry him to my bedroom.

There was no tenderness, no gentle moves anywhere to be seen, only lust and desire; certain thirst for each other we couldn't seem to avoid anymore. I threw him onto the bed and crawled up beside him. Dec too, decided I was taking too long; he immediately sat up and unbuttoned my shirt as I struggled to undo my pants.

I felt trembling fingers caressing my chest, gripping my hips, and all of a sudden that inviting mouth was attached to mine. I pulled him closer as the pleasure intensified. Soon enough, I was moaning and screaming his name until my lungs were about to explode. Those fingers slid along the waistband of my underwear and I was ready to wake the dead.

"Touch me...please touch me..." I begged him; he looked up at me and licked his lips seductively. "Maybe you should take me home now," he said.

I suddenly opened my eyes only to close them again in order to protect them from the intense sunlight coming through the windows. I was still panting, trying to catch my breath while sweat poured down from my forehead. It was then that I felt an obvious discomfort between my legs and I let out a groan of frustration. It didn't exactly take a fucking genius to figure out what had happened, yet again.

I'd had the same fucking dream for three nights in a row, and it was starting to have a very serious effect on me. Each time got worse; the entire situation got worse with every passing moment because every passing moment would raise more questions, more doubts and more insecurity.

For the sake of my own sanity, I wanted to believe that this was happening because after what had happened, the itch I had of kissing him and having him in my arms could only be described as unbearable. Actually, it wasn't exactly the wet dreams what bothered me; I could deal with the soaked sheets and the raging erections at sunrise, but my growing feelings for him...those are something I found myself pretty much unable to avoid.
The whole weekend I couldn't think of absolutely anything but him, and each of the minutes that we had spent together, either holding hands, cuddling on the couch or just talking, remained neat and fresh in my heart as if they had been printed there with indelible ink.

I just couldn't understand it. I was usually very good at manipulating people; I knew exactly how to get what I needed; if I wanted sex, I focused on getting nothing more and nothing less, and in all these years, I had never committed the stupid mistake of falling in love with anybody. Oh no, love could only complicate things, and I wasn't about to risk losing my mind, my job and God knows what else because of two or three insignificant fucks.

However, I soon realised that with Declan, it wasn't just some meaningless fling I was looking for; otherwise it would have happened already. The only thing I could be sure about was that the kid trusted me, and that alone was a thousand times more valuable than anything else I could have wanted from him when I first met him; believe it or not.

Before I knew it, it was Monday all over again; another week was starting and I wondered for how long I would be able to tolerate the entire situation without breaking down.

At home, I found it hard to enter certain rooms he'd been in, but at school, those overwhelming feelings were even worse because I knew he was somewhere around me, somewhere very close and so fucking far away at the same time.

Then again, it was only Monday, a few hours into the day and my conscience was already filled with all these self-deprecating thoughts that made me burn from the inside out. I decided I needed to get some fresh air and ironically, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. That's when I caught a glimpse of him going into the library.