Her Badass Mate

Blame Game

I didn't look back as I got out of the car. No words had been spoken during the entire ride to Jaspers apartment. There was thick tension in the air, and I knew he didn't like this a single bit. I continued walking and urged my brain and heart not to turn around, using my last bit of inner strength to do this small task. Turning around and seeing his broken expression would make me run back to him, and I couldn't do that.

A rough sigh escaped my mouth as the elevator doors shut, creating a definitive barrier between us as it began to take me up. Pride suddenly ran through me as soon as I realised that I hadn't cried, an accomplishment which may look small to some but was huge for me. The elevator dinged suddenly and I was reminded of my situation. With a low groan, I trudged my way out of the elevators, through the hallway and to the apartment.

The door opened before I could even touch the handle and my mother stood there, staring at me with a frown,

"Jasper smelt you coming," she explained. "How did it go?" She stepped into the room, allowing me to step in and for the door to close behind me.

"I think it went alright." I replied honestly, taking a seat on the couch. She stood in front of me, watching and examining me. "He blames me."

"For what?" She crossed her arms over her chest, a protective look overtaking her sincere expression.

"Well he didn't say he did but I could tell," I sighed. "I think he blames me for what's happening. And for what happened to Damien."

"Why do you think that, sweetie?" She moved to come sit next to me, knowing that this was something I had trouble talking about.

"He ignored me after the wedding and Damiens attack, could barely look at me. He told me so many times not to go to that school and befriend Sione, but I didn't listen." My voice was only a whisper, my eyes staring at my fingers as guilt filled my stomach.

"Oh sweetie, I see what's happening." My mothers hands covered mine suddenly as she held them tightly. "You blame yourself for this."

I looked up at her with my tear filled eyes. "If only I had listened to Dazz, then none of this would have happened." Tears began to rolled down my cheeks as I finally said what was bothering me this whole time. 

My mother quickly engulfed me in a hug, holding me tightly and rubbing my back as I cried onto her shoulder. 

"The wedding would've worked out fine, Damien wouldn't have gotten hurt, that biker and driver would still be alive." I sobbed, feeling the blame of everything fall on top of me.

"None of this is your fault." My mother cooed, pulling me back. She held my shoulders as she stared into my eyes. "Sione was always planning this, it would've happened regardless."

She held me tightly, whispering comforting words occasionally as I sat in her embrace, releasing the many tears I had been holding in. No matter what she told me, I never believed her when she told me this wasn't my fault.

~

"Izzy," 

I groaned and shoved Jaspers hand away, "Go away!"

"Wake up, hurry, I'm tired too." He groaned, shaking my shoulders. 

"What?" I rolled onto my back and glared at him in the dark.

"Phone for you," He shoved something solid into my face. Confused, I took it and watched as he dashed out of the room in a rush, closing the door behind him. Looking at the caller ID, I sighed. 

Alpha Lycan.

I cleared my throat before I spoke. "Hello?" 

"Izzy? Are you okay?" Dazz asked softly from the other end.