I CAN'T [ BROCK BOESER ]

- two -

"I can't believe I got a ninety on that test." Jessica laughs as all four of us pile out of the bus. I get off last, I try to focus on the conversation that my friends are having, but like always my attention and thoughts are elsewhere. I'm surprised I passed last semester with where my head was at. He ruined me, he broke me down until I wished that I was dead, so I'd never feel the heartache he caused. I still wish that this pain will disappear, but it's still inside crying out silently.

"One day Levi, you're going to walk into a street light because you're too wrapped in your thoughts." Jessica chuckles and redirects me away from a street light I was about to walk into. I blink as I come back from my thoughts, I see Jessica wrapping her arm around mine.

"Are you OK?" She whispers when the rest of our friends walk ahead of us.

"I'd be lying if I said I am." I sigh and slow our pace down.

"I haven't seen him in my medieval history class, rumours are he left the Vancouver campus and went elsewhere" Jessica tells holding me close. I know who she's talking about instantly and I nod my head at her.

"He transferred to UofC, he went back home." I nod and Jessica sighs. She leans her head on my shoulder and we follow our friends into the mall.

"You know, he's a complete wanker." Jessica says, and I let a soft chuckle leave my lips. "I mean, who breaks up with someone, leaves them standing in the pouring rain, and admits they never loved them after being together for almost three years?"

"He does." I mutter and look to my shoes; my body feels even weaker as I relive that night in my thoughts once again.

"Oh, Lev." Jessica sighs and brings us to a halt. I keep my attention on my shoes, my vision begins blurring as tear form in my eyes.

"I shouldn't have been so big mouthed, I know you're still trying to get over him and it must hurt." Jessica says and holds me in her arms. I try to ignore my tears and the stinging of my heart but like always, it never works.

"You know what, I'm treating you today. Whatever you want, as long as it's in our budget, and I'll get it for you." Jessica tells looking at me, a soft smile on her lips as she looks into both my eyes. I go to shake my head, but Jessica holds up her hand.

"Don't even think about saying no, you're my best friend and I'm doing this out of the good of my cold, black heart." Jessica chuckles and clutches her heart. I laugh through my tears, Jessica grins at my reaction.

"Now come on, today you won't think about him, only the food and clothes I'm buying you." She says looping her arm through mine again. I wipe away my tears and let Jessica walk us in the direction of Vans.

It's a few hours later and Jessica, our friends, and I are still walking around the mall. I carry a bag from Zara with a new jacket inside and another bag from Indigo with two new notebooks inside. I begged Jessica not to buy anything for me, but she ignored me pleads and paid for everything.

"Let's go to Sports Chek, I need new work out pants." Alicia sighs and drags us in the direction of the store. I walk behind the three girls, my thoughts drifting towards that horrible night like they always do when I am left alone.

"At least you've the balls to be a man and say it to my face." I say and walk into the road. I cast my gaze up towards the dark sky, the rain splats against my face.