You make me sick

You. (17)

oh, hello there. if you even read these, it's been... uh.. what feels like years, lmao

i doubt any of the old readers are still here, but hot damn, the support on this story was a lot more than i expected. i started a new account (and no i wont be saying why i left i doubt anyone cares) but i came here with my new acc to read this story, mostly to make fun of it tbh, (and yes, there were plenty of places in this book where i cringed BIG TIME) but when i came to this point i realized, my GOD, i need to finish it. 

a lot of the errors or cringe in this story come from the fact that i had no life experience. i didn't fully understand the lgbtq+ community (despite being a part of it), or loss, or a panic attack, or having a partner, or even how to write a well flowing story without unnecessary add-ons, i had all my sources from reading here on wattpad! not like i'm some all knowledgable wizard at this point, but reading back through this story, it makes me smile to see how much i've grown. 

so here i am, logged into my old account to finish a long overdue story with the exact same ending i had planned before.

thank you, so so much :)

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Jefferson

"My father." I stiffen up, my hands that trace his spine freeze where they are. 

His father. 

"W-"

"Some business he's opened. Wants me to see the progress. Maybe become a worker there."

Oh. 

I stiffen, inhaling wetly. "And you're going?"

I watch as his face contorts, weighing out his options. "Maybe. I mean, I kinda have to... Right?" His eyes lift to mine, searching helplessly for something to hang onto. I have nothing to offer in return.

"Not unless you think you should." He exhales, placing his head back on the rim on the couch. 

"Thats the- the fucking thing. I don't want to." I bite my lip, glancing down at his hand. Takes a lot of strength to not just... "But he has a new wife, some model, and- and is running a hotel, I just-" He pauses. Inhales. 

Tears up.

"I don't know."

"You don't have to know."

"Thomas?"

"Hm?"

His eyes are filled with something new. A realization, a new way of looking at me. What is it?

"Thank you."

And for once in my life, I have the ability to stay silent. To just stay with him in peace, and finally provide him, if not for just a moment, the one thing he needs.

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ONE MONTH LATER

"So, it's not all bad. Just kinda miss all you guys, and honestly really hate being with my dad."

I snort, settling into a stool as slivers of dough emerge from our pasta machine, and Laf smiles knowingly. "I can relate."

"Yeah, he's just trying too hard to be my friend when- Bitch, you abandoned me as a child! I owe you nothing!" A smile finds its way across my lips as I hear an insult that, seemingly, so long ago used to be directed towards me.