away // brallie

six

callie's perspective

Last night, Brandon drove me back to his dad's house and he had to go back to Stef and Lena's and he promised to talk to them in the morning to see if he could just stay at his dad's while he was gone and 'take care of the place.' I made myself a quick breakfast and ate it pretty fast because I was running late. I slipped my dishes into the sink, then grabbed my bag. Brandon already outside in his car, considering I don't have a car of my own. I ran to the car, opened the car door, and plopped down next to him. I gently laid my bag on the floor of his car, and he began to drive as my seatbelt clicked into place.

His head inclined, looking up at me, "Morning. Did you sleep alright?" He asked, staring at me with a solemn look.

I nodded, "Uh, yeah. Alright for my first night in a new house. That was the thing about me, is that it always took me a little while to get used to sleeping in a new home. It was...it was rough for sure, having to switch houses." I said, rubbing my hands together.

His lips curled up, "I get it. I can't get a good nights rest anywhere else but home." He said, turning his eyes back to the road. He turned up the radio just a bit, so you could hear it. Brandon always had classical music on in the car, and it was so adorable to watch his face as the piece progressed. Confusion, contentment and anger all made themselves visible on his face as he listened. Sometimes, his hands even moved along the wheel as if it were keys. I admired his dedication to music, and it really made him who he was.

I gazed around the car, then looked at Brandon, although he was still glaring at the road, "Did you take your meds this morning?" I asked.

He locked back into reality, and true irritability crashed over him, "Awh, shit. I, I forgot, I'm sorry. I...it totally just slipped my mind. Shit, I'm so sorry...Callie." He said, looking at me only once. His nostrils were flared and his lips were pursed, anger just painted all over him.

I rested my hand on his shoulder, "Brandon, it's okay love. You'll get back into routine soon enough. I'll text you every morning until you can come live with me. Speaking of, did you talk to Stef and Lena?" I said, changing the subject to something more enlightening for Brandon.

His lips relaxed and his face dropped, "I did. They said it was okay!" He cheered. The sweet yet complex feeling of love just fell over me as the smile grew on his face. What would I do without this damn boy. He thinks that I am the one doing all the saving, but he doesn't even realize how much me has saved me too. I knew from the single first moment we met that he was special. He was more than I had ever seen in a foster brother. I knew he couldn't be my brother. He was so much more.

But I also knew that I had to get adopted with Jude. It was happening soon. Tomorrow, I believe, or Wednesday. This week for sure. Maybe not anymore because I got kicked out. As much as I loved and cared for Brandon, I had to get adopted and out of the system. My mind was battling. Brandon. Adoption. Brandon. Adoption.

Then, I returned to the moment, "That's amazing!" I said, forcing a smile onto my bewildered face. I had to make my choice, and I had to make it soon. I just couldn't let go of being a part of this family.

He took his right hand off the wheel and grabbed mine in it, "You don't know how much I love you." He said, randomly but surely.

I lifted his hand and kissed it, "I love you too, Brandon." I said. Then, we drove in silence the rest of the way to school, listening to classical music.

———

Lunch time whipped around pretty quickly, thank goodness. I sat down at an empty table, then Mariana approached me, "May I sit?" She asked politely, and I nodded. "When are you coming back? I miss you terribly." She said, pouting. She pushed her lips out dramatically and her eyes suddenly looked more watery.

I took a deep breath, "I'm not sure. I just got kicked out, Mari. I doubt they even want me back." I admitted. It felt true. Brandon was the only one who even made an effort to come and get me back, let alone reach out to me. I heard nothing from Jude or Stef or anyone else, expect Brandon.

She shook her head violently, "Oh no, Callie. We want you back. Even Lena. She just told us that she was having a rough few days and lashed completely out. She apologized to Brandon, who quite frankly couldn't stop crying. He was having those fits all the time, and he was uncontrollable." She said, huffing afterwards. That word latched inside my mind just like before, replaying itself over and over.

I rubbed my forearms until they were bright red, "Don't use that word, Mari. Please." I said, and it was all I could muster without yelling at her like she killed my whole family. 

She rolled her head, "Callie, babe. What should I call it then?" She said, so ignorantly. She knew nothing about Brandon it seemed like!

I rested my head in my hands, "Call it an anxiety attack, because that is what it is. Also, don't make a big deal about it especially when he is around. It make it so much worse for him and I can imagine any good sister would want to respect their mentally challenged brother." I said, fighting my body's urge to get up and leave. She irritated me more than she made me feel happy these days. Maybe it's her hormones, but she is very bitchy all the time now. 

She huffed, toying with a lock of hair, "Fine. I'll try my best. Sometimes, it just feels like it's his excuse to make mistakes, and all the rest of us just have to deal with it." She said, gazing downwards and pouting. 

I rubbed my temples, "Any time he is panicking, sit next to him, take deep breaths with him, and rub his back in small circles. It always helps him calm down." I said. She took a few seconds before reacting, and she just smiled with a nod. I knew she was a good person deep down, she just didn't know how to cope with Brandon's depression and anxiety. I turned my head around and saw Brandon approaching; his eyes were glowing and his lips were turned up. He sat down on the other side of me, closely.

He gazed into my eyes, "Hey, Cal. What's up?" He asked, quite casually. I assumed that no one back at home knew why I was kicked out, so I guess he was trying to act brother-like with Mariana around.

I looked from Mari to Brandon, "Just talking to Mariana." I said. I couldn't say anything more because he was giving me the look, the Brandon look. The one where his lips are slightly parted and his eyes were glowing and staring and he just looks content for once in his life like nothing could even phase him. All because he was just looking.

Mariana shifted awkwardly in her seat, "I should go to class." She said, removing herself from the situation and walking back towards the school building. She was rounded up by her friends, and she disappeared in the crowd.

Brandon still gazed at me, "I'm going to move some stuff in tonight." He said, his lips forming into a smile. 

I slid him a guarded look, "I'm just so excited, and also nervous. We won't get caught, will we?" I said, my mind starting to jump down the worst paths. 

Brandon shook his head, "No way. Moms suspect nothing and my dad won't be back for a month." He said, placing his hand on top of mind subtly. 

I took a deep breath, "Okay, Brandon. Well, class is about to start so we should get going." I said hesitantly, because the last thing I wanted to do was leave his side. Our feelings were subsided for long enough. Love only grows stronger with time and distance. Brandon nodded, his eyes shifting side to side. He placed a gentle kiss on my lips, then parted very quickly. He ran towards school very quickly, leaving me flabbergasted from the kiss. 

If someone saw, we were both going to be 6 feet under in no time.