Last Teardrop

Chapter 17: Searching For Answers

I ran as fast as I can, and as far as I could. My tears kept on falling as his words echoed on my mind.  And I hated him more for making me finally admit to myself that I like him. It was my first heartbreak and I never thought it would hurt like this. My heart has been falling to pieces and every bit of it hurts just the same, or even a thousand more.

In this moment, it felt like my world fell apart. He has a girlfriend but I tried to forget that to choose a night that I wanted to remember. I thought people say that love is an incredible feeling, but how have they missed to say the part that the same love could also make you feel the most betrayed and hopeless?

The rain started to fall, and my knees have never felt weaker. I am shaking but that didn’t stop me from running. I don’t know why but the only thing I wanted to do that time was to be away - from Daniel. But no matter how far I go, I know that the pain would only grow. Because I have been carrying him with me – In my heart.

I stopped. There’s no point. I stayed at one side, and all wet.

Just then, the rain stopped. The rain stopped but my tears were continuously dropping as my heart continued to sink. Or so I thought. But when I looked up, Patrick was looking at me and was holding an umbrella above my head. He offered his hands for me to get up.

“Hey there”, he started.

I tried to smile, reached for his hand and got up. I know that even if how hard I try to hide it, the pain in my eyes already answered whatever questions he had in mind. And Patrick is smart enough not to talk about it now.

I started crying again. And Pat just let me. He just stayed there in the rain with me, hugging me tight waiting for all my tears to dry.

I woke up in a comfortable bed the next day. And it startled me for waking up in an unfamiliar room. Where am I? Patrick! Last night, he’s the last person I remembered. Is this his room? And what am I doing here??

I searched for my things and sneaked outside the room. When I reached downstairs, the smell of hot chocolate was very tempting.

“You’re already awake.” Patrick said as he was preparing a bacon and egg sandwich and two hot chocolate.

“What am I doing here?”

“You collapsed. Last night, you were so wet. What the hell were you thinking trying to soak yourself in that rain? You’ll catch a cold. Here, drink up!”

“Thank you.” He cares for me too much. Why didn’t I like Patrick than Daniel? Daniel. The thought of him breaks my heart again.

“I wanted to stay with you today, but I really need to help Jeremy fix his car. I had promised him a week ago. But I’ll bring you home first before heading there.”

“I can find my way home, Pat.”

“I know. I’m just worried.” He said as he touched my cheek. My heart melted.

“Is your mom home?”

Surprised, he removed his hands on my face. Why does it feel like he didn’t want me to talk to Tita Francine? Since at the hospital, we haven’t really got the chance to talk about my mom. There are so many questions I’ve been meaning to ask.

“Yes.”

“Pat. I’m fine. I’ll talk to you later, okay? But right now, I really want to see your mom.”

“Alright. But you’ll see me later whatever the cost is.”

“Yes. I’ll see you later.” I assured him.

And a curve smile slowly formed his lips.

“Library. Upstairs. First door to your left.”

I thanked him and went directly to the library. I am excited and nervous at the same time to be talking about something important in my life, something that has been erased within me. For the 12 years I have spent, it felt like I have been living on the shadows of someone else’s life. Now, I want to move on. But I could not do that when I just don’t know what I am trying to let go.

I saw Tita Francine on her desk, focused on her book. I decided to talk to her next time so that I won’t be able to disturb her. But when I was about to leave, she already saw me.

“Come here Samantha.” She smiled and told me to approach her.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you, Tita.”

“It’s fine. I wanted to see you again too. Anyway, how’s Ferdinand?”

She was referring to my dad.

“Just the same. When he lost mom, he had been drowning himself to alcohol. And he won’t talk to anybody else, including me.”

“I can’t blame him. I lost someone important too, that day.”

“We all did, Tita. But it seemed like I lost that same day the only guy I thought I could count on. But Dad was not really cooperative enough. I think I got blamed for Mom’s death.” I paused for a while, and found the courage to ask her.

“What really happened that day, Tita?”