Last Teardrop

Chapter 1: Bad Luck

“We may not be together now, but in another lifetime, I will try to find you – where we can be together, and our love can last forever.”

Those were her last words for my dad. And up until now, it was still ringing on my ears. I was 5 when my mother died.  And it hurts like hell having to lose someone so special. I was young and ignorant, and all I could think that time is why she left this soon when I still need a mother. Why hasn’t she tried to fight for me and my dad? It was 12 years ago. But up until now, I still carry the pain whenever I remember how I lost her.

Today is her death anniversary. I was alone again with dad who had been completely miserable since day 1. Sometimes, I felt like I did not only lose a mother, but a father as well. He was lost, and it was terrible seeing him get drunk every night just because he wanted to forget. Of course I understood him, but sometimes it’s a little bit tiring to be the one trying to understand all the time.  

“Dad…”

I watched him as he was sitting on the edge of my mother’s grave, trying to crave his name beside hers. But I tried to keep my hopes up that it is still not too late for him to realize that he still has me. All these times I have been pretending to be strong, but it’s not strong enough to convince my dad.

“You go ahead, I’ll stay here for a while.” He said.

“I can stay with you if you want.”

“I don’t.”

So I moved away. I was not wanted there.  We used to be a happy family. And sometimes, I wonder what really happened the day my mother died that dad seemed so upset to me. Was I to blame for his loss? I lost her too, and I felt bad just the same. I don’t think it’s fair to take it against me. Yet, the world really is not fair on numerous other things. I just happen to have bad luck. Oh well.