Last Teardrop

Chapter 19: Broken

It was terrifying to remember how it all happened. Now, I understand better why I got all the blame. If I hadn’t ran back towards the fire, if only I hadn’t reached for that doll that Maelyn lost, I would still got the person more important than that doll. But there’s no use now. A million regrets would not bring her back, neither would a million tears. I can’t stop crying as Tita Francine came nearer.

“I am sorry.” She said.

I wanted to say that it’s okay and I am fine - that it had been 12 years already and I have moved on, but it’s not okay and I certainly am not fine. And it felt just like yesterday because I remember every pain and wound in my heart. I had expected that every broken piece of me would heal, that upon hearing the answers, it would eventually complete me. But as I sat there, none of the pieces seem to fit together. Because no matter how hard I try, it seemed to cause me more pain.

I hugged Tita Francine and looked away. I didn’t know what more to say. I whispered her thanks and told her that I needed to leave. I am completely broken hearted. No matter how much I dream, my mother’s not coming back. I needed time to be alone.

I ran as fast as I can and was not turning back – just like before. I reached the lake. And all alone, in that lake, I cried my heart out, hoping that in every tear that dropped would lessen the pain that I am feeling now.

“Sam?”

I turned and saw the last person I wanted to see at the moment. Daniel.

“What are you doing here?”

“What happened last night? I went to your house but you were not there.”

“You answer your question Daniel, what happened last night?”

“I don’t think I understand.”

“You won’t - because it was just a stupid game for you. You know what the worst feeling in the world is?”

….he stared at me, waiting for me to talk again.

“It is knowing that you’ve been used and lied to.”

“Are you… mad at me?”

He is asking me if I am mad at him? For what? For breaking my heart? Or for all the lies? Or maybe for putting my trust on him only to be betrayed?

“Go away Daniel. I don’t want to see you right now.”

“But Sam, what did I do?”

“Just go away.”

I looked away from him and felt that I have never been this crushed before. How could my heart possibly take all the pain there is now? It is already filled with scars and bruises.

I thought that Daniel already went away, but instead, he came nearer and held my hand. Instantly, I took it away from him.

“Sam…” he whispered that made my heart sank. How could I still like him despite all that he did?

“I am sorry. I didn’t know what I did, and I intend knowing. But now, I know you need someone for whatever it is you’re going through.”

He held my face and I didn’t move.

“I know I made you cry. I know I am part of the reason why you’re hurting now.” And he came closer.

…”But please let me stay here with you. If I am one of the reasons you’re crying now, at least let me be here to wipe those tears away.”