Please Come Back to Me

1 year

Clarke knew that there was something wrong with her. Most people would've gotten over it by now, moved on, fell in love, but its been over a year and Clarke hasn't let go of Lexa.

Its hard for Clarke, letting Lexa go. Clarke's lost a lot of people, people whom she's loved, but it was never this bad. Perhaps it was a different type of love, perhaps she loved Lexa more. Lexa wa- is special, and Clarke's never going to find anyone as special as her.

Everything that Clarke did reminded her of Lexa, even the little things.

Drawing; Clarke loved to draw Lexa, she found herself even doing it now, even though Lexa's gone. Lexa's eyes had to be Clarke's favorite to draw, she could spend hours on them and could be no where near having all of the detail captured.

Sleeping; With Lexa gone, she doesn't get much sleep anymore. After comforting Lexa for so long, she soon realised that they both needed each other to sleep. Lexa had nightmares, and found comfort in Clarke playing with her hair (braiding it was always the most relaxing for Lexa). Clarke had gotten used to Lexa's hair in between her fingers, her warmth, and her soft and quiet groans when she would stop playing with her hair. Without Lexa next to her, she couldn't fall asleep.

Writing, reading, eating, fighting, leading, breathing. All of it was so hard with Lexa gone.

So it didn't come as a surprise when Abby diagnosed Clarke with depression. However, what did come as a surprise was the fact that Abby put Clarke on 24 hour suicide watch for a few months, fearing that her daughter would harm her self.

Octavia and Raven were normally the ones whom watched over Clarke, but sometimes it was Abby. Clarke knew that her friends were worried about her, but it wasn't their business. It wasn't their business that Clarke was depressed, and it certainly wasn't their business if Clarke was harming her self or not.

"She still has that thing?" Raven looks at Clarke, whom is playing with her necklace, at the end of it is a gem that Lexa got on her ascension day. Clarke never parts from it, its one of her only things of Lexa that she has left, apart from the A.I that Titus cut from Lexa's neck and a white animal furred blanket that was always draped over Lexa's bed, when Lexa died, Clarke took it from her room, as a way to remember Lexa and Polis, (their blankets were so much more comfortable than the ones in Arkadia.)

"It was Lexa's." Octavia points out, as she pops a fry in her mouth. With Clarke gone so much, Octavia and Raven become inseparable, and they both vowed to protect Clarke at all costs, which is why they volunteered to watch her.

"It's been a year ,O, you would think she would get better by now." Raven sighs. The two look across the room at Clarke. She looks... dead. Pale, she's obviously gotten skinner, there are dark circles under her eyes, evident that she hasn't slept in a few weeks, her eyes are dark, hair is brushed, face blank, no expression at all, but if you look into her eyes, you see one thing, pain.

"Maybe not, Lexa was her soulmate, they're each others soulmates." Octavia knows what its like, to loose someone that you love. She lost her mom, and Lincon, but she was never this bad. Octavia's been wondering about it, why Clarke is so effected by this, it broke her. Then, one day she woke up and the idea was clear to her. They were soulmates, Clarke and Lexa, are soulmates.

"Were you and Lincon...?"

Octavia knew what Raven meant. Were her and Lincon soulmates? No. She loved Lincon, so very much, but loosing him didn't break her. It hurt, it stung, and she would never admit this to anyone, but she wasn't a numbered percent over Lincon, they loved each other, but Octavia knew they weren't soulmates.

"No, I loved him, but- no." Raven felt for her friends, but at this point, there really wasn't much she could do for them. She could be there for them, which she would always oblige to, but she couldn't heal her friends, not when she needed healing herself.