Fifteen Layers of Steele

Chapter 4

Today I was so nervous that I arrived twenty minutes early. I needed all the time that I could get to mentally prepare myself for talking to Christian again. He'll probably think that I'm also bipolar or something when I come back acting all nice and apologetic towards him. So how should I go about it? Say I'm sorry the second that he walks in? But what if he's mad and sits somewhere else? How the heck am I going to talk to him then...

Feeling completely out of control of the situation, I just sat with my face in my hands, leaning on top of the desk, utterly dejected. This is what my bad attitude gets me. Realizing that trying to plan for an unknown situation is useless, I just pull out my books and start studying. At least then I could make a productive use of my time.

Fifteen minutes goes by quickly and I nervously glance on and off at the door. Nearly every person that walked into the classroom stared at me as they came in today. I've quickly become the most unpopular yet popular person in the class. I hid my face in my book to avoid being seen. Let's pray that word of me doesn't spread too far.

Another three minutes pass and he still doesn't arrive. That's weird. He's always pretty punctual with the five minute thing. Maybe he's so upset that he's not even going to come to class at all. Flicking my head up from out of the book with wide eyes in horror, a dreadful thought came to me. Oh god, what if he quits the class!? It's still early enough in the quarter that he could do that.

Sliding down over the top of my desk, chin pressed against the hard, solid edge, I dangle my arms off the front with my textbook in one hand and let out sad hum from the feeling of eminent doom. In the midst of my outburst, Jennifer and Lindsey enter the classroom later than usual. They looked at the seat beside me, seeming shocked at its emptiness. Quickly, I sit back up straight, trying to look normal and clear my throat to brush off the situation. Stopping for a brief moment, they whispered something into each other's ears. My keen hearing was not good enough to pick up on what they were saying this time. Taking one more glance at me, we meet each other's eyes, and they quickly look away and run back to their seats after realizing that I had seen them. That was strange..., I thought to myself as I returned to pretending to be interested in looking over the chapter on fetish development. Wonder what they're up to? Ah well, I shake my head brush it off. At least they're not bothering me right now.

The way those two come dressed to class everyday leaves me the utmost amused. Most students show up dressed in sweat pants, with messy hair that they probably used dry shampoo on from having gone days without the time to shower in between all the studying. Having to stay up all night working on assignments, then waking up bright and early in the morning for lecture doesn't give one much time to spend on their appearance. That fact alone is a dead giveaway that they don't actually spend much time on their schoolwork. Jennifer, with her ridiculously long bleach blonde hair, never fails to have it perfectly straightened and styled every morning. Her outfits always look like they cost a fortune, and yet she has a new one on every single day. Her daily makeup looks like it came straight out of Instagram— definitely not a look that's meant to be worn on a day-to-day basis due to the mass time consumption.

Lindsey on the other hand has long brunette hair that is always worn back in a sleek ponytail. Not once have I seen her wear it down. This is an indicator to me that she actually cares about putting a bit more time into her studies than Jennifer does, but tries to still keep up to the beauty standard of her best friend as not to fall behind. The time taken away from doing her hair is compensated by the equally intensive baddie look makeup, and uber stylistic clothing. How can these girls have time for this every day and still keep up good enough grades to stay in the school? Seriously... all they care about must just be looking good for Christian. Do they get all dolled up like that when they don't have a class with him? The hope is that we woman can realize there is more to life than getting with some handsome rich man like Disney always taught us.