Fifteen Layers of Steele

Chapter 13

After the date, Christian dropped me back off at my house and I placed my rose in a vase and put it carefully on the nightstand next to my bed with a giddy smile. The rest of the night had been spent walking along the boardwalk, skipping rocks over the water, laughing, and holding hands. From there we walked throughout the city, checking out all of the beautiful lights strung among it. I just wanted the excuse to keep walking so that I wouldn't have to let go of him. I was afraid that if I did, I would never be able to grab his hand again. That wasn't something I was willing to risk. After strolling about for a while we found ourselves at an arcade open until two in the morning and played video games together, just as he had earlier suggested. The night was so much fun that it went by too fast.

I want to see him again already, even though it's only been ten minutes since he dropped me off, I thought to myself as I laid in my bed with my clothes still on. Having been too absorbed in the moment of finally getting to walk and hold hands romantically with someone for the first time in my life, I didn't realize how thrilling it all really was.

My cheeks felt like they were on fire. A rush of energy and restlessness flowed through me. I couldn't stop rolling around on my bed. Just what was it that he was about to say at the end of our conversation in the Ferris wheel? For a minute there, I could have almost sworn he was about to tell me that he loves me...but that was probably just my overactive, hopeful imagination. "Sigh..." That would have meant that he was actually talking about me the whole time, and that I'm the special person that he hopes will truly love him, which would be impossible of course. But what if?

"Yah-ha-ha," I giggled to myself out loud and continued to roll around like a tumbleweed as an image of him confessing to me popped into my mind. As my tumbling came to a halt, I laid once again on my back with my hands over my hot cheeks. His skin though. It was so soft. I could feel it every day if he and I started dating. I wonder if the rest of him is that soft...

My mind wandered to the uncharted territory. The temperature levels of my body rose even more at the thought of his bare skin that was normally covered up by many layers of clothing. I would have to feel it if I wanted to know. If we were dancing together I could touch more parts of him. He promised me that he would take me as soon as I recovered from my phobia, but then, I suppose I would only be able to touch his clothing, not the skin. If I wanted to feel what the rest of him is like then I would have to...

"Gasp!" I picked my pillow up and smashed it into my face so that I could hide inside it. The image itself made me so embarrassed. If I wasn't so afraid, I could grab more than just his hand. I would be able to let him get in close to me so that that delicate skin of his would almost be touching mine like it had in class when we first met. Then maybe this time, when our faces turned to each other, he would want press his lips into me knowing that I wouldn't jump away. Then he'd clench his fingers around my hair, go down my neck with his mouth and...

The heat on my body centralized into one lower area which was now tingling with many sensations.

"GAH!" I shot up from the bed. "Man I have to go take a shower to get my mind off of this." Quickly, I jumped off and ran through the hallway to the bathroom door. Normally I can't get this far before feeling horrified. But with him, it's possible. How do normal people get rid of this feeling? A cold shower?

Hopping under the running water, I had the nob turned closer to the C. The droplets washed over me, cooling down my heated body. He said he's never had a girlfriend before. He's just like me. So that means...wait a minute...that means he's never had sex before right? Are all of the things we've been doing in therapy new to him as well? No, it can't be. There was that one girl before, they probably did at least something before she got scared off. Or what about other patients? What if they needed touch therapy too? Maybe I'm not his first after all.,.