gangster love

his story

"the worst feeling is feeling unwanted by the person you want the most."

This chapter is only going to be about Liam and his past.and this is what he looked like when he was little.

Liam
It's crazy to think that the people who brought you into this life the people who were supposed to love you and pick you up when you fall and to always be there don't want you. I think to my self everyday what did I do.or how could they put you through so much and never feel sorry.

I had a pretty good life till I was six that's when my father started showing how he did love me and didn't want me. He always showed love to my brother but never me.

I would always walk into him snoring whit powder or putting needles into his arm.he would beat me everytime but he wouldn't hit me so hard to leave marks. That was just the begging.he made me do crazy things.

12 years ago
Richard come in here boy
Little Liam yes dad
Richard your in middle school right 6th grade
Little Liam yes why
Richard don't ask questions stupid. Any way your going to do me a favor little boy your going to sell these things to the kids and you better not get caught
Little Liam why do i have to why can't Jace do it.
As soon as I said that I regret it so bad I tried to get up and run.he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the chair.and smacked me and punched me the last thing I remember that night is my dad's fist going to my head yelling "because he's my favorite not you."

It's sad to think of a 12 year old kid with depression and now there not wanted the weeks went by my dad would give me a brown bag it had many different things in it I new he made me do it because he didn't want my brother to get into trouble.weeks went by and I would always take a couple dollars form what I sold I was getting good at it. Till that one day

Principal Liam so is there anything you want to say to us
Liam no why
Principal well someone told us you were selling something so we looked in your locker and found this

She was holding a small bag of white powder  they must have found I after lunch at least they didn't find the rest.

Principal were going to call your parents
Liam no they can't find out can you just give me lunch detention
Principal no now I need you to go with the cop okay

The officer put his hand cuffs on me and walk me to his car right when he put them on the bell  rang and the hall swarmed with kids and everyone had there eyes on me the kid who no one likes in hand cuffs.the judge let me go but I had to have counseling.i kind of wish they sent me to jail or something.becasue that might was awful

Richard you got caught what did I tell you
One hit....two hits
Richard I told you your stupid
Three hits.... Four hits
Richard you will regret it.now we have have to move you schools
Five hits.... Six hits
Richard if you think your going to stop selling for me then you must be stupid next time better not get caught or you will regret it
Seven hits...eight hits... Nine... Ten

This happens 3 times everytime someone snitched on me. And Every time I would get a worse beating then the last. Finally he didn't need me too sell anymore.but it didn't matter everyone new me as the kid who sold drugs.
What ever my father did to me it didn't effect my mom or brother when ever I was in trouble they would leave the house to go shopping or to go get food.the left so they didn't have to have to hear what ever my dad was doing to me.

I would laying bed thinking what would happen if I just die I tried killing my self many times it's crazy but I'll explain that later

When I turned 17 left and my father stopped beating me I was finally happy till I found out he was selling my thing and stealing my money.

The sass y I left it took a lot out of me I couldn't believe I really did that I should have did it earlier.when I left I thought I could go an find my brother he would help me.i just can't believe what I seen. It was looking for him for a while I found his address online.i stood across the street  to see him with a lady with red hair and two little kids and a baby.i just look at them how happy they are.i think he seen me but he just looked away as soon as I seen him do that I put my head down and walk away.

Not want by my mom... My dad... My brother.i am worthless.