gangster love

time will tell

"what if the only way not to feel sad is to stop feeling anything at all,forever?"~13 reasons why

This chapter deals with suicide read with caution

Alexis
We ran and ran. We never gave up running till we reached the house we lost them a long time ago. but we didn't care we need to keep running they could have cought up with us. Hundred of thoughts were going to through my head.

Ring....ring.... Ring...hello
Yes thank God how are Alex are you okay

Alex yes are you okay you need to get checked out by are doctor okay I'm sending her now.hok are the others?
Alexis no I'm fine everyone else is to.....umm... How is he is he.....alive
Alex yes.....but he's in surgery...ill be home tomorrow I'll tell you what happened tommorow...you need to sleep okay
Alexis I'll try okay....i love you brother
Alex I love you too
2:00a.m
Unknown look at you you got someone else killed
Unknown it's only a time will tell till you get the rest of your family and friends killed to
Mom yeah look at our you got me killed now you got that boy killed he had his hole life ahead of him
Dad she's a worthless
Unknown it's time for you to die
Unknown you will always remember me
Alexis no please mom dad help
Boom... Boom

3:00a.m
I got up I tears I am worthless it's my fault he's in the hospital. I just need to die already
I slowly walk to the the tub with tears in my eyes I can hardly see I sit I'm the tub.i grab the cold blade and put it to my skin with ever cut I think of everything i did or do wrong I cried my self to sleep in the tub with the blood running down my arm.
4:00
I get up to the cold water and the dryer blood on my skin I looked at the cuts I made sure they weren't to deep.
I get ready to work out
I train for hours till my brother walks in to me beating the punching bad he grabs my arm

Alex you now the time
Alexis it's like 5
Alex no it's 10...look at your hands
He grabs my hands there bleeding and have bruises forming I made sure to wear long sleeves so no one sees what happened last night
Alex let's get you cleaned up
Let's
We walk to the bathroom in silence. I was hoping he would have just let me train for the rest of the day but as I look at my hand I see the blood dripping down I seen I need to rap it up. We get to the bathroom and he lifts me up on the counter like he did when we were kids.
Alex you had another nightmare again didn't you
Alexis yeah.....im also upset like if he dies his blood is on my hands
Alex he's not going to die he's in a commo right now
Alexis there I big changes he's not going to make it
Alex but he will he's a strong kid.
Alexis I just can't handle it like why did he jump I fronted of the bullet?
Alex well you can always ask him when he gets up.
Alex well your hand is fixed let's get you some breakfast

He grabs my arm.to help me of the corner he sees me flinch he give me that look as he rips up my sleeves to see the fresh cuts
Alex what the fuck is this
Alexis nothing okay leave it
Alex no I told you to stop...you said you are tacking your pills
Alexis I am stuiped they are helping but I just couldn't handle it last night

I slowly start breaking down in front of him my legs get weak and I start shaking I slowly fall to the floor with tears in my eyes then I fell his arms around me on him on the floor with me whispering it's okay it will be okay