Adrift

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The bed moved back slowly until I was surrounded by white hard plastic. Claustrophobia gnawed at my mind as I laid still, following the doctors advice. The spongy earplugs pushed into my ear with the headphones placed over then, did little to help me when the machine began.

The nurse had asked for my favourite radio station... Fat lot of good that did when the sounds of roadworks filled my ears cutting out any hope for music or my own thoughts.

But I had to get used to it, this was the first of many tests in which the doctors would analyse and decide on if there was something new or more sinister going on in my cranium.

I closed my eyes and pushed my thoughts towards Zak. To relieve the anxiety, I imagined us in a park, whilst Gracie ran around us and we were enjoying a picnic. Only roadworks were near by again...

The nurse didn't say how long it would take... Or maybe she did and I can't remember?

Zak.

The picnic.

Gracie.

Zak..

I don't know how long I had been there, but the bed eventually moved and I was able to breathe in the air from the room, rather than the tunnel.

"All done. Now I'll get these processed and sent to the doctor. It shouldn't take too long but you're welcome to sit outside and wait until you are called." The nurse explained giving me a gentle smile as I slid off the bench and pulled on my shoes.

I gave her a quick nod before escaping, just in case she wanted to do even more tests than what was originally planned.

Zak rose from his seat and pocketed his phone upon seeing me. "Hey."

I didn't reply, just went straight into his chest and allowed myself to settle against his heat.

"It's okay. Babe, I won't leave you here. I won't disappear, I mean it. I'm here, beside you. Like I should have been in the beginning." He explained.

It had taken an hour from MRI, to be sat in front of a doctor as he frowned at the scan on his iPad. I didn't know if the frown was a good thing, I guess it wasn't, hence why it was a frown..

"Hmm. Well," he began checking the MRI once more.

My hand tightened on Zak's as I waited, I could have anything, injury, tumours, maybe a bleed? I don't know.

"I am confident, and I can safely say there are no tumours, there's no sign of any pressure or injury. On more occasions than not, people with spells of forgetfulness, attitude changes and acting out of character after an accident usually have some form of injury in the frontal lobe of the brain.. I am confident to say that this is now related to stress, anxiety and maybe survivors guilt." The doctor spoke scratching the back of his hand.

"S-so I can be fixed?"

"You were never broken sweetie.." Zak hushed brushing my hair back with his other hand.

"That's a difference of opinions.." I muttered before turning back to the doctor.

"It is," The doctor replied. "Katy, for what you experienced, what you saw and your mind suppressed was traumatic. Some people cannot suppress it, they live with it every single day, remembering things much like you went through.. Now. As for treatment, I can offer a few options."

I sat forward for this, needing to listen and not listen to Zak's even breathing. He wasn't doing it loudly, but my ears had trained themselves to listen to the sound of his lungs. Just in case...

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