How To Speak Pietro Maximoff

116 8 6
                                        

Note: This is (obviously) not a plot idea. But Random Crazy Ideas includes... randomness. And craziness. And ideas. And this applies to all three categories, so I hereby introduce you all to my (rough) guide to writing/speaking like Pietro.

-


"This is SHIELD?"

"This is what SHIELD is supposed to be."

"This is not so bad."

— Pietro Maximoff & Steve Rogers in The Avengers; Age of Ultron

-

How to speak Pietro Maximoff

1. Don't - I mean – do not use contractions.

2. If you are unsure of a statement, simply add a question, yes?

3. TalkveryQuicklyatalltimes

4. Always tell everyone to keep up. Are you keeping up?

5. If you do not know a word, ask your sister. Telepathically, of course. It is very... Wanda?

*discreet, brother*

Right. Discreet.

6. Ah, let us not forget the Sokovian accent.

7. If you see Hawkeye, call him 'old man'.

*I heard that*

Of course you did old man.

8. Address Tony using his surname, to constantly remind both him and yourself that he killed your parents. Stark will regret that eternally.

9. Ensure that you retain your position as the cutest being in whatever building you are in. NO KITTENS OR PUPPIES!

10. Hesitate before words if you are... uncertain.

11. Annoy Vision in a completely non-jealous and definitely not overprotective way.

*pokepokepokepokepoke*

12. And finally, always say 'you did not see that coming?'.

Oh come on. Tell me you at least saw that one coming.

RCIStories to obsess over. Discover now