The Suite Life on Deck (Season 2)

13. The Beauty & The Fleeced

I was walking around with London and we arrived on the Sky Deck but suddenly she screamed, making me jump out of my skin. "London what is it?" I asked, hoping it wasn't that she broke a nail, again.

"A beauty pageant!!! And I'm beauty-full!" She was waving her fists excitedly. A load of girls suddenly came up to it and a blonde girl looked at it, and then at us. "Miss Tipton beauty pageant? Is that even a real thing?"

Suddenly a stutter-y laugh that I knew all too well started and I turned and Woody and Zack were coming up behind us. "Of course it's real. I mean if it wasn't, would we have a celebrity judge?" 

"A celebrity? Who?!" The blonde girl asked excitedly. "Yeah, who?"

"Little Little." Zack responded. "Marcus?" Woody and I questioned. "Yeah, you know little little??" Zack asked desperately. And I knew what was going on. That was his "This is a lie remember but please back me up here and pretend you know what I'm talking about" voice. He started singing Retainer Baby and then walking backwards and bumped into Marcus.

"I can explain." He said. I walked over. "You better explain to me too, even thought I know what this is and I'm not happy." I told him.

"You started a fake beauty pageant to meet girls and tell them I'm judging to make it seem legit?" Marcus guessed. "Wow you're good." I said.  

"..Okay you can explain." Zack answered, defeated. "Excuse me? Really Zack?" I asked, and he looked at me, and he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. "Forget it. Later." I said, and walked off and tried to find Bailey.

I texted Bailey and she said she was with London in their room. "The only thing they'll put on your head is a paper bag." London said, walking into their bathroom and closing the door. 

Cody came into the room, and was excited. "Bailey! There's some algae blooming off the port side it's bilaterally symetric!" 

"I have something a little more exciting than plankton." Bailey answered with a smile on her face. "I seriously doubt it." Cody said, smiling at her. "I am entering the Miss Tipton Beauty Pageant!!!" She said, taking a dress that was hanging on a hanger from the wardrobe and holding it against her.

"Ah, and to protest the entire event you're going to undermine it by wearing an ugly dress and avoiding all the trappings of conventional female beauty?" Cody asked, proud of himself for trying to figure out Bailey's plan.

"Excuse me?" "Because that certainly is not going to work with that super cute dress and your effortless good looks..I..love you." Cody stuttered. I snorted a little with laughter. "Smooth Captain Terrible Liar." 

"Look I'm just sick of London always putting me down." Bailey said, putting the dress back down on the bed. "If I beat her, she won't have a leg to stand on."

"I thought you'd find beauty pageants sexist and demeaning to women?" Cody asked. "She does usually but I think this is just one of those things. I say go for it Bail." I smiled at her. 

"Thanks, but pageants are about more than just beauty. You can win scholarships, plus they judge you on talent, poise, personality." Cody chuckled, "I know, I've been in a beauty pageant before." He said and the smile disappeared from both of our faces. 

"You mean like for men?" Bailey asked confused. "Ye...y...no." Cody said, shaking his head. "Hey, don't judge me. When I met you, you were a dude." He added. "He's got a point." I said, pointing at the two of them.

"Hey listen I gotta go find my idiot of a boyfriend and tell him to knock this beauty pageant off because he's got another plan." I said, getting up from Bailey's bed. "How do you know?"