His Kind Of Love

13

Father God, thank you for giving me strength to move through all this. Thank you for the people who are in my side when I needed them – my friends and family. I also pray that Kevin can find a forgiveness in his heart to accept my apology. I also want to forgive James for what he did, I needed to forgive him for myself so I could forget all the things that happened to us. I believe that you had a better plan for me and that I am willing to wait until that plan completes. Father, forgive me for those wrong things that I have done. Amen.

I sighed as I stood up from the pew. Kinuha ko ang dalawang singsing na ibinigay ni James sa akin at inihulog iyon sa donation box. I sighed again, I am ready to completely forget everything. I needed that prayer to have the will and strength to do it.

Gumaan ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa aking ginawa. There's only one thing left so I can finally move forward. That's Kevin.

My phone rang and I immediately answer it when I saw my mom's caller ID. I smiled when I saw her and Papa. I waved my hand.

"Thank, God. Nakarating kayo ng maayos." I said.

"Yes! Ipinaghanda kami ng Tita mo ng makakain." Sabi ni Mama, nasa kwarto na sila siguro ay handa ng magpahinga. "Napag-isipan mo na ba ang alok ng Tita mo?"

I sighed. "I'll give you answer tomorrow, Ma."

I hang up the phone after minutes of explaining to them why this is a hard decision for me to make. My parents wants me to accept my Tita's offer to move to Canada so we can put up business there. Nahirapan ako sa pagdesisyon dahil unang una ay narito ang buhay ko. Though, half my life was ruined after the failed engagement, I still see Philippines as my home. And I can see myself settling down here whatever happens.

"Can I order English Breakfast with two pumps of honey, please. No milk." I said to the barista. I'm here at Tea Bean. The new Barista didn't know me because she was my branch manager's new hire. "And I would also like one slice of carrot cake."

"Alright, Ma'am. Name please."

"Trina." I smiled.

"That would be Php 315.00."

"Ms. T!"

I turned my head when Ella called me. Galing siya sa backdoor, naroon iyong mini office ng shop.

"Kira, this is Madam Trina. She's the owner." She said to the barista which made her blush right away.

She apologized.

"No, it's okay." I said and turned to Ella. "Ikaw! I'm going to pay."

I gave the barista my payment and occupied a seat near the window. I have always been a coffee shop person kahit na ang habol ko lang naman ay tsaa at iba't ibang klase ng desserts.

Ella and I talked. I told her my plan of selling all the rights of my shop. Hindi pa iyon final but I'm telling her this early na para she can still work here once I found a buyer. Marami na akong nakausap pero lahat ay offer pa lang. It's still not final 'cos I'm trying to find a buyer who will absorb Ella.

Mabigat sa dibdib na bitawan ang pangarap kong shop but I don't see any purpose and vision here anymore. James helped me built this and I don't want this as the only thing that keeps me from moving forward.

Huli sa itinerary ko ngayong araw ay si Kevin. Hindi ako papayag na matapos ang araw na ito nang hindi ko siya nakakausap.

——

"Just try again, Trina. Kevin's a good guy. He was just hurt." Lance said.

I told them what happened last night. At hindi ko alam kung bakit amused na amused si Lance sa umpisa ng kwento ko tungkol sa pagsunod ko kay Kevin sa suite nila.

"That's the only way he knew to distract himself." Rason ni Lance na tinanguan ni Vasha.

"And besides, you can't blame him. First love—"

"Okay, babe. TMI." Lance interrupted Vasha, as if what she's about to say is illegal.

My heart raced. Ang bagay na ayaw kong pangalanan ay sinabi na ni Vasha. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit umabot sa ganoon ang nararamdaman ni Kevin.

When and why did he fell?

Damn. This is making me look like an insensitive person. Dapat ay makiliti ako sa bagay na iyon, but all I'm feeling is guilt.

If love is the reason why he did everything that he did, then I have hurt him. Big time.

"Sorry, labs. Can't help you with that. But..." nilapitan ako ni Vasha at binulungan. "I'm sure that he already forgave you. He's just not ready to face you yet."

I sighed and unbelievably agreed on what Vanessa said. By hook or by crook, I will finish this whatever thing I have with Kevin.

"Thank you, Mr. & Mrs. Sebastian." Natatawa kong sabi at tsaka niyakap sila ng sabay. "As in, thank you for everything."

I heard Vasha sobbed kaya humiwalay siya upang magpunas ng luha. I hate it when someone dear to me is crying. Naiiyak rin tuloy ako.

"Why do I feel like you're about to say Good bye." Lance comforted him. "Trina, you will tell me if you'll leave, right?"

Tumawa ako habang pinupunusan ang luha. "Of course!"

I think I have already decided. I think it is best if I'll leave muna while figuring out how to move past this chapter of my life.

"Lance, I want you to forgive James." His jaw clenched upon hearing James' name. Halata pa din na galit siya sa ginawa ni James sa akin. "Sobrang dami niyo ng pinagsamahan para lang masira ang friendship ninyo dahil sa akin."

"What he did to you is unforgivable, Trina."

I shook my head. "There's a reason behind it. Yes, you're right, pero labas ang friendship ninyo sa kung anong ginawa niya sa akin. Lance, do this as a favor. I want you to forgive James. Talk to him like before. I know you still need each other. I know he needs you."

"Babe, as much as I hate the thought, Trina's right." Sabat ni Vasha nang matapos ang pag-iyak.

Lance sighed. "Fine, but only because you told me."

Napangiti ako. Hinarap ko si Vasha.

"Lab–"

"I'm pregnant, labs." Putol niya sa akin at iginiya ang kamay ko sa kanyang tiyan.

Naiyak ako dahil saya. "What?! Wow!" I exclaimed. I hugged her. "OhmyGod! Congratulations sa inyo." Nakangiti kong sabi habang tumutulo na naman ang luha ko.

Hindi ko maiwasang makaramdam ng inggit. Everyone is happy and moving on with their lives habang ako ay magsisimula pa lang ulit. I hate that this is happening to me.

"I did not told you yesterday 'cos I don't think it's not the best time yet. But—"

"Vanessa!" I called her real name. "Don't feel bad just because I'm lonely and still moving on. Your happiness should be your priority. Not mine. You are my best friend and I want nothing but for you to be happy in this life."

I meant what I just said. I hate that I'm feeling envious about it, but I don't want anyone to be miserable just because I am. Everyone deserves to be happy. Everyone has their perfect timing. This time isn't mine yet. Sometime someday, I will be happy too. I am not losing hope. Everyone should.

"He has made everything beautiful in it's time."
Ecclesiastes 3:11

I have faith  in that verse. I will never lose faith.