Why do I make myself suffer?
That is the big question.
Why am I going to therapy if I don't want to get better?
The truth is...
Is that I'm fucking terrified of the future...
My future.
I know I always talk about how I want to become a social worker and have a family.
But I feel like it's just a dream
And I will never have that.
But if I don't believe that it will happen
Then why am I dreaming about it?
I mean I gave myself till 21 for a reason
And it's not because that's when I can legally buy alcohol.
I'm hoping something amazing will happen
That I don't have to work for.
But the truth is...
"Amazing" things don't come to you when you don't try.
So why don't I try and make myself better?
I mean there's a "magic" pill that is getting handed right to me.
And I have so many great people that believe in me.
And know that I can achieve my dreams if I just put my mind to it.
Why waste that?
So today I pledge to you and to myself
That I will try my hardest.
And you can hold me to that!
