I know I won't feel like this forever,
But the constant ups and downs are just so tiring.
On the days that I am down,
People ask me if I'm ok.
I say that I'm just tired,
But not the type of tired they think.
I may have the best sleep the night before,
But if I'm depressed...
It won't matter one bit.
Some days I don't even want to get out of bed even if I am feeling ok
Because I know that any measly thing can trigger me back to my bad days.
And the thing about my bad days,
It's that I know I'll be ok in a few days or a week.
It's like I don't remember ever feeling ok before. It's like someone put me in a house with my bad thoughts and closed the shutters so I can't see the happiness outside.
And I'm like a dog barking at the back door wanting to go outside.
Can someone please just open the goddamn door?!