𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 • 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯

seventeen

Grayson has been staying at Ethan's house for the past few days, he really enjoys the change of scenery and sleeping wrapped up in Ethan's arms each night rather than alone in his room. He shivers thinking about his room and house as the occurrences of Halloween night flash through his mind and dreams regularly. Ethan helps him with those dreams, he helps him feel safe and calm. That's another reason why he's thankful for being at Ethan's house.

He sits at Ethan's desk, eyes filled with thought as he reads through a book he picked out with him at the bookstore. After finishing up a chapter he closes the book, leaving the top of the page bent so he knows where he left off.

He hears Ethan singing to himself in the shower, he laughs listening to the horrible voice cracking high notes. With a shake of his head he rests his chin on his hand as boredom suddenly strikes him. His eyes search around the room, looking for something to do.

That's when his eyes land on a black journal besides him on Ethan's desk, straps cover the front holding it closed. He looks around the room making sure the coast is clear before slowly grasping the book. He opens it up and peeks inside seeing various drawings, some beautiful, some confusing, and some just... scary. He flips through the pages before he finds a sketch of himself.

What his eyes see make his stomach churn. He's drawn face down on the floor, submerged in a puddle of his own blood, his body is littered with bruises, his face is turned with his eyes opened slightly. The words 'Please Stop' are scribbled across the top of the page in capital letters.

"Why would he draw this?" Grayson whispers with wide eyes, scared of the gruesome drawing of himself.

After examining it some more, he quickly flips the page. Another sketch of himself awaits, he instantly blushes at what's depicted. He's on all fours, with his back arched upwards and his legs spread out. White transparent liquid drips down his thigh onto the floor, his head is turned looking behind him with tearful eyes, and red cheeks. The word 'Harder' is branded onto his ass cheek. After quickly looking at the picture slightly embarrassed, he turns the page with a deep breath wanting to erase the image from his mind.

He sighs in relief as he looks at the next drawing, it isn't a sketch of him, it's a sketch of Ethan. Half of his face is skull and bones, while the other half is normal. He looks at the bottom of the page, the words 'The Real Me' are written. He runs his fingers over the drawing getting lost in the picture of Ethan. The drawn eyes stare deeply into his, he quickly blinks snapping out his trance.

"I wasn't supposed to see this." He sighs resting his face on the empty page next to the drawing as his fingers trace over the written words. He folds his arms under his head and closes his eyes, burrowing himself into the oversized sweater he has on, lended to him by Ethan. His mind goes blank as he slowly drifts off, he listens to the quiet sound of wind coming from an opened window.

The quiet is interrupted by footsteps approaching Ethan's room. He opens his eyes and listens, then panics when he no longer hears the shower or Ethan's singing. Quickly he shuts the book, placing it in the exact spot where he found it.

"Sorry I took so long." Ethan says walking into his room and shutting the door behind him.

"It's okay." Grayson mumbles with a finger over his mouth as he stares into his book pretending to be interested. He can't refocus after the things he saw.

Ethan places his hands on Grayson's shoulders and squeezes lightly before learning down. Grayson involuntarily flinches, as his mind still thinks of the battered version of himself drawn with the same hands around him.

"You okay?" Ethan questions noticing his shakiness.

"Yeah." Grayson answers quietly, his eyes still planted on his book.