Beauty and Rage (Leverage Fan Fiction)

26. I've Been Thinking Too Much

Andy all but threw something down in front of Sophie and Nate, interrupting their conversation. She was angry and upset and distraught and anxious about something neither Nate nor Sophie knew about.

Sophie looked up at the blonde woman, taking note of the way the woman looked abnormally untidy. Andy usually wore makeup and had her hair done but today, her hair was in a low hanging bun and there was no trace of makeup on her face. She was in a pair of loose fitting faded jeans and a hoodie. This person did not look like Andy at all.

"Andy? What's wrong darling?" Sophie asked while Nate messed with the dog tags Andy had placed on the table harshly.

"Did Eliot give you these?" He looked over to her. She nodded her head, tears threatening to spill over. Nate looked back to Sophie. "This is all you."

Sophie mentally cursed at him as he left the booth.

"I-I won't take up too much of your time, Sophie." Andy whispered, her voice hoarse and rough. "Just give those.... give those to him please."

"Why can't you?" Sophie crinkled her brows together.

Andy shook her head, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth as she turned to leave. Sophie hurriedly got out of the booth and followed Andy towards the door.

"Andy! Andy, wait!" She put her hand on Andy's arm and stopped her. "What's wrong with you? We haven't seen you but maybe once in weeks and Eliot's been in a horrible mood recently.... Are you two having trouble?"

"We-We're fine, Soph." Andy shook her head, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Clearly not. You're crying. Hardison said you never cry."

"It ruins my makeup." She muttered. "I'm not wearing any so I can cry all I want."

"What are you crying for, darling?" Sophie took her wrist and guided her back to the booth, away from the door and the prying eyes of the customers.

Andy shook her head, sitting down heavily in the booth. She put one hand over her face and sighed out.

"It's so stupid. I just.... I can't do it anymore, Sophie. He's gone and I.... I have no one to turn to-to get this elephant off my chest. I feel like I'm suffocating and he's only been gone for three days."

"Then talk to me."

"I can't." She shook her head, dropping her eyes to her lap. She couldn't tell Sophie about Blythe, about the baby. Her and Eliot's problems were theirs. It was her duty to carry the weight of their relationship on her own shoulders and if she couldn't do that, then she didn't deserve him. "I just-I can't."

"Okay.... Have you told Eliot that you want to leave?"

Andy shook her head, biting her lips to keep from crying.

"So you were just going to disappear?" Sophie leaned in to speak quieter. "He loves you, Andy. You have got to know that that can't possibly end well."

"I don't have the guts to tell him to his face, Sophie. He'll try to make me stay and I'll say yes because I love him and it will be one endless cycle that just—,"

"If you love him, then why in the bloody hell are you trying to run away?"

Andy was quiet for a few moments. She had been trying to think of a good answer herself for the past three days.

"Sometimes even if you love someone, you and that person shouldn't be together." She spoke in barely a whisper. "Sometimes you and that person but heads so much because there's no.... no happy medium. He wants to get married and have kids and I-I-I don't know if I can give that to him."