Limerence (Chaelisa)

Chapter 10: Undo Whatever I've Done

author's note: so much angst what am i even doing it's 1:15 a.m

Without a job, I find myself with a lot more free time.

I spend that free time crying over Lisa and my horrible life decisions. I spend that time cursing myself for hurting Lisa like that.

I find myself not taking care of my health. I find myself not being able to sleep at night because my heart is aching too damn much.

Youngmi is concerned about me. I hate that so much.

I'm such a horrible human being.

Why would anyone care about me.

Youngmi is messed up in the head if she cares about me.

I don't deserve to have her care about me.

I don't deserve to have anyone care about me.

And I know that I should love myself. But I just can't bring myself to do that. Not right now. I feel too shitty. I feel too fucked over.

It's been two weeks since Lisa and I last saw each other. It's a Saturday. Usually, I go out with my friends on Saturdays but I don't plan on being socially active until I can officially somewhat get over Lisa, and I'm not going to be getting over Lisa for a long time, just saying.

So I'm surprised to hear someone knock on the apartment door.

Youngmi left less than an hour ago to go grocery shopping, so it can't be her. Besides, she has a key, she doesn't need to knock. And all my friends know better than to show up at my apartment without saying anything beforehand, they know that I've been in a crappy mood for the past couple of weeks so it couldn't be them either.

I push myself off my bed and look through the peephole to see an unfamiliar girl standing there. She's pretty, though. Probably my age.

"Hello," I say as I open the door by a tiny bit, making sure my body blocks the small opening.

"Hi," she says, "you don't know me."

"But you happen to know me," I say and she nods. "What's this about?"

"You're Park Chaeyoung, right?"

"Mhm," I answer cautiously.

"Oh, cool, I'm Kim Jennie. Lisa's friend."

Oh no. Last time I saw one of Lisa's friends, I was slapped. Yes, I did kinda deserve it. Kim Jisoo is also really good at slapping people and making it fucking hurt.

"Okay, hi Jennie. I suppose you want to talk about Lisa with me? Oh, also, how in the world did you find out where I live."

I live off campus, so only a handful of people know where my apartment is.

"I asked my friends. I have this friend who has this friend who goes to your university and is your friend," Jennie explains.

Note to self: kill whoever who gave away my location and find new friends that have absolutely no connection with Jisoo or Jennie or Lisa.

But that's probably impossible. They all seem like the type of people who probably have a shitload of friends.

"May I come in?" Jennie asks.

Sure, why not. I may not like the reason why she's here, but Jennie seems like a nice person. Both Jisoo and her are. They care for Lisa.

I move out of the way with a small and forced smile. "Yeah."

Jennie waddles inside and sits down on the living room couch.

The apartment is rather small. The front door leads straight into the living room/dining room/kitchen. There are two doors, one leading to the tiny and cramped bedroom Youngmi and I share and one leading to the bathroom.

"I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear from someone like me," Jennie begins once I take my seat across from her, "but..."

"You want me to go talk to Lisa."

Jennie nods. "This is so unlike me, I usually don't pry into other people's lives, and I don't know much about the relationship the two of you have, but Lisa has been moping around for the past two weeks. I've never seen her so miserable before. She's not eating well, she spends all her free time either over-studying or simply staring off into space. You caused this. Fix it. Undo whatever you've done. Something."

"I don't know what to do," I mumble.

"Yes, you do. You and Lisa were childhood friends for a reason. You know her better than a lot of people do. Just, have a talk over lunch."

I sigh. Lisa's miserable. I'm miserable. Lisa's awfully oblivious. I'm terribly in love with her.

Fuck it.

Jennie's probably going to keep on pestering me until I say yes.

"Okay, fine, whatever. Tell Lisa to come over tomorrow at noon. I'll talk to her then."

Jennie's surprised. "Seriously?"

"Want me to take it back?"

"No!" Jennie quickly says. "Well, that was easier than I thought."

"Yeah, I surprise myself sometimes."

Jennie sends me a quick smile before she leaves my apartment.

What have I put myself up to?

author's note: an uneventful chapter but the next one will be better...hopefully