Tour Manager's Daughter

Dear Shawns grandparents,

*Sadie pov*

Back home, I was cooked a warm home meal and was able to sit and reminisce about tour with my dad and hang out with Randy. I really did have an awesome time so far. The next leg of the tour will be more driving and more far away stops, which kinda sucks but what am I gonna do about it.

Shawn and I haven't really talked since show day. I was embarrassed for a few things and I just came to realize that I needed to get out of my feels and back to my job that I was there for. I was slacking in school and had lost my focus and drive. I slept a lot in my bed while I was home. I missed it A LOT. 

The second day I was home, I went shopping with my friends and we ended up having lunch afterwards.

"okay so, we have been waiting for you to dish us the scoop on you and Shawn." my friend Alexis says leaning forwards across the table.

"Please my god, we only follow all the hashtags on twitter since you never update us." my other friend Hannah complains.

"We are just good friends." I say plainly. I didn't want to talk about tour. I'm home, I'm away from tour, away from Shawn and away from everything that comes along with it. Or so I thought.

"Yeah well good friends dont look like their dating and holding hands and flirting over twitter. Shit the paparazzi was following you earlier." Alexis laughs.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Yeah, they took photos before we walked in the mall. You didn't notice?" Hannah adds.

"No?" 

"It's been a few hours maybe its on twitter." Alexis says and pulls out her phone. We all scroll through and I see old photos of Shawn and I talking backstage, us walking to the bus, us ice skating the first week of tour and even ones from the airport. I can't act like I don't read stuff online from fans. They were so funny with their conspiracies and theories. 

What made me kind of upset was the articles. Articles about us, "Shawns new assistant?", "Shawn's taken", "Trouble in paradise; Rocky waters with Shawn's tour girlfriend". And just in, a new article saying that our relationship is fake and back home now, we aren't talking and crap. I was so confused, first of all we have a relationship whether it be romantic or platonic, second they just assume everything. WOW I want to hang out with my friends back home. 

"Yup here we are..oh my gosh we're famous now!" Hannah exclaims to Alexis. I sigh and leave my phone on the table top.

"I don't like all this. I'm just trying to do my job, and I have to deal with all this too. I wish we could just clear the waters." I say.

"Sadie, I am too far deep in this for you to say that. I know theres something there and you're too freaked out to admit it to us. " Hannah tells me.

"Sure. There was something. But its complicated and I want to get over it okay? Let me get over it." I snap.

They nod and we awkwardly move on to the subject of school.

--

A few days went by and I appreciated the luxuries of home. Like peace and quiet, long showers, my bed, and time to focus on school. I took a drive one night because I was in need of good long drive with music playing and eventually time to think. I drove to a spot in my neighborhood where I could park at look out at the giant city that is Los Angeles. Just upon arrival, and to my surprise, Don't be a Fool came on randomly. My body was covered in goosebumps hearing Shawn's voice and tears threatened to fall from my eyes. I parked and rested my forehead against the steering wheel.

It made me really think about the last month or so, and how attached I may have allowed myself to get. And how it ended, just did not settle well with me. Robbie, Preston and Lance apologized and I knew they meant it. They also tried talking to me about what I had said to Shawn about needing to focus on my job more. I wasn't very nice to them and I feel bad thinking back on it. But, its okay. What I do feel bad about is how quickly I tried dropping Shawn and I's 'thing' and how open I was about it to Shawn. I was just overwhelmed and needed to refocus. What I said was emotional, and not polite and I feel sorry for piling that on Shawn even after his emotional day. Hearing that song just brought it all back and I was sad.