Lifeline

Chapter 17

When I open my eyes, Nathan and I are back in his hospital room. I am lying on the bed and Nathan is sitting on a chair. He is sleeping his head on the bed. I try to move my hand but he is holding it. I try to wipe my face with the other hand and am surprised that it is wet with my own tears. I can remember everything now. I can remember Tom and his bet. I can remember the judgments of people during my last day. I can clearly remember my mother's words. They keep echoing in my head. I try to control myself but I can't help but cry on how pathetic I am. I do not know why God let those things happen to me. And now, I am just a helpless spirit. I must be sobbing loudly that Nathan wakes up. He must be awakened by my sobs. When Nathan opens his eyes and sees me crying, he immediately sits on the bed and hugs me. I hug him back tightly and continue sobbing. I feel helpless. I can't think of a thing to do. What can a spirit like me do to clean my name again? What can a spirit like me do to make everything back to normal? If only God can answer me. Now, I want to die so I can talk to him directly. I have a lot of questions to ask him. I deserve answers now that these things happened to me.

When I calm down, I start to tell Nathan the things that I can remember. He is shock as well. He does not know that those things happened to me before I became like this. He hugs me once again. He must be feeling sorry for me. I look pathetic anyway.

"If I only knew..." he whispers to my ears as he hugs me.

"There was nothing you can do." I tell him.

"I would at least stay by your side." He replies.

I face him and smile. "Impossible. I see you as weird before. I am sure that I would not talk to you back then."

Nathan's face seems down. "So that's how you see me before." He whispers but I hear him.

"That was before. That's how awful I was. I was bad that is why these things have been happening to me."

"But, can you still remember why Tom made you into a bet?" Nathan asks, returning to my story.

"Besides from the motorbike, I don't know the details." I say honestly.

"What if there is more to it than that motorbike?"

"So what if there's more to it than that? Do you want me to get back to him?"

"It is still up to you."

I smile and hold his hands, "Did you listen to the mp3 I gave you?"

He shakes his head no. He must have forgotten about it. I take the phone on the bedside table. I plug in the earphones. I give the other to him and he puts it in his ears. I do the same. I play Fur Elise first and he claps his hands afterwards.

"Impressive for a beginner like you." He smiles at me.

"I played like a pro, didn't I?" I smile proudly.

"It sounded amateur but it was better than how you played it before."

I make a face and punch him tightly. He laughs and I just laugh at him. Besides, I am still far from his skills in spite the fact that he just learned it by himself. I suddenly stop laughing when I realize something. With Nathan, even though he already learns the truth of me being a spirit, he treats me like a normal person, like I am alive. I just want to stay in this kind of feeling. I want to be treated like a normal one. I guess, being a spirit isn't bad as well. I smile.

"Can I play the next song?" I ask him.

"You still played another one? That's nice. I guess it's Greensleeves." He laughs.

"Eh-em, you're wrong." I say. Without another word from him, I start playing the song.

The notes seem familiar to him. He looks at me and I smile at him. He seems surprise. "This is the song that I've been working on... how did you..." he is out of words.

"How did I know? How did I know Elise Sonata?" I ask him.

He just nods.

"It was an accident. I accidentally heard you and I accidentally saw the score."

Then he is more surprised to hear me singing. He looks at me once again with his eyes full of surprise. He does not say a word. He just listens. When the music stops, I touch his face and gently kiss his lips. But I am surprise, I can't feel it. I can't feel his lips. He opens his eyes. I gently move my face away from him.

"Did you feel it?" I ask him in surprise.

He shakes his head. "I didn't." he says.

I sigh. I guess it is because I am a spirit.

"But you understood what I mean by the song right? I decided to put all the words I wanted to tell you through the music that you made."

He is speechless. He doesn't know what to say.

"Nathan... I like you... no... I love you..." I tell him.

He just continues looking at me.

"I love you so it doesn't matter anymore whatever Tom felt that time. I don't care anymore whether he was being true or not, because now, you're all that matters to me. So, I hope you won't ask me the reason behind Tom's actions that time. You're all I want." I confess.

Nathan's tears drop. He hugs me once again. "I love you too... Elise. You made me feel that I am not alone." He says.

I gently pat his back until someone knocks at the door. Nathan and I let go of each other and the door opens. It is the nurse.

"How are you feeling right now?" The nurse asks.

"I'm better." Nathan answers.

The nurse walks to him to inject him with a medicine. Nathan obediently gives his arms to the nurse. The nurse notices his eyes swollen.

"Were you crying?" The nurse asks.

"Uhm... I guess..." Nathan says.

When the nurse is finished, she stands up. "I heard you talking. Were you talking with someone?"

Nathan is shocked. He looks at me. Of course, no one can see me beside him. "I... I... was just talking with myself... I guess." He says stuttering.

The nurse smiles and walks outside the room.

Nathan looks at me with his eyes full of sorry.

I smile at him. "Don't feel sorry. I now understand."

He gently holds my hand and puts his head on my shoulder. "I guess, we're in a secret relationship for now." He smiles.

"You're right. Don't worry. I'll make myself better as soon as possible so we can have a normal relationship. I need to wake up already. I cannot wait to have a date with you."

"I hope I'll be better as well. I want to have a normal relationship with you." He mutters.