Drowning in guilt

Chapter 6

Lucy POV

So now I was alone with Mira. Or should I say 'Fairy Tails shipping demon'? I gulped, knowing that the conversation would only be entertaining her. If only I could've left too. Mira sat down on the bed besides me. "So Lucy-chan" she began while holding a spoon up to my lips so I could drink the soup, wich I did. My stomach rumbled as it got the first meal in a long time. "Wich one will you choose? I still ship NaLu! But GraLu babies would be cute too! Oh and LaLu babies! They would be so adorable! But GaLu ones of course too!" she squealed, already lost in her own shipping world. "You have so many good looking guys you can choose from!" I sweatdropped. 'Oh Mavis, why are you doing that to me?' 

"I... uhm... Isn't it weird for you to ask when you have a crush on Laxus, your Sister on Natsu, Levy on Gajeel and Juvia on Gray?" I asked, trying to finish this conversation with it. Well, it was obvious who liked who in the past and I still remembered it, but I didn't pay it much attention since the guild came back together. I thought nothing had changed. But what came next shocked me a little bit. 

"Oh, so you don't know." she chuckled while slightly blushing. "You know... I've actually started dating Freed a few months ago, but it is true that a had a crush on Laxus. Around the same time Lisanna started dating Bixlow and Juvia is now dating Lyon! Finally! Poor Juvia, always getting ignored by Gray even tough she's such a lovely girl. And it seems like Levy got herself a boyfriend within the magic council, but she won't talk much about it."

"Oh, congratulations!" I gave her a heartwarming smile. I really was happy for them. Mira started grinning. 'Oh no' "So now you have no rivals and can pick one without worrying!" 

Her aura suddenly changed to a dark one and slightly started drooling. 'Somebody please save me! She's going crazy (again)!'  I screamed in my mind. "Or do you want all of them to yourself? Like a harem? Oh my Mavis! That's the best idea I've ever had! " she squealed in a high-pitched voice, making my ears ring. But I couldn't do anything about my face being scarlet red. How could she say such embarrassing things?! 

"Mira-san! Stop it! It's embarrassing and I won't just choose one!"

"Then the harem?!~"

"No!!" I almost screamed. 'Oh Mavis, pleas save me from this situation!' I frantically searched for something I could use to change the topic, noticing the soup and salad Mira still had on her lap. "Uhm... Mira-san... the soup's gonna get cold and I'm kinda really hungry..."  she gasped. " I totally forgot!" 'Oh great. At least it worked.' She started feeding me the rest of the soup and then the salad, standing up when I finished eating and walking towards the door. As she reached it she stopped, turning around towards and looking at me. "Good luck with the guys!" she chuckled and winked at me before leaving. Oh she enjoyed it so much to see me suffering in that regard. 

A frustrated groan escaped my mouth. After all what happened I definitely wasn't in the mood for choosing somebody as my partner. That was the last thing I thought about at the moment.  

Just now I noticed that Mira left the door open and the guys stood before it, either liking slightly disappointed or with a face as red as Erza's hair. I guessed that they eavesdropped and why they blushed. 'Perverts' I thought while glaring at them. Natsu was the first one who came running up to my bed.
"So... Uhm... Luce..." He scratched the back of his head, not knowing what to say. "So yeah. We just wanted to say goodnight." The salmon-haired boy said as fast as he could while he tried to hide his blush by pulling his scarf up in his face. I rose an accentor and saw a certain blue exceed with a dirty look on his face behind the others. 'Oh Happy, what did you tell him?!' Well, I could've already kinda guessed that he told Natsu what a harem or 'NaLu' was. Stupid cat!
Still I couldn't hold back a small chuckle while setting the faces of the guys. It was just too funny.
Natsu looked like he just was introduced to something he wasn't ready for. The adult world.
Laxus tired to pull off his straight face but failed miserably. It looked like he had a few not so childfriendly thoughts while a sight blush crept in his cheeks.
Gray just looked away with a red face, trying not to have naughty thoughts.
And then there was Gajeel. He didn't even tried to hide his excitement. I'll... Just leave it at that...
'Are all these guys really only driven by their hormones?!' well.... Except for  Natsu. He looked like a lost kitten.
"Guys..." I said in a low voice, just loud enough for them to hear. They all looked at me.
"Get the hell out of my room!" I jelled, making them flinch.
"But Luce, I..." Natsu started, but I didn't let him finish. "Now!!!" I growled. They all ran outside.

Now it was silent again. Slowly I began to feel lonely. Well, I kinda asked for it, didn't I?
It was already dark outside, but I didn't knew the time because I didn't have a clock in here. I didn't even knew what weekday it was!
I looked outside the window. But what I saw made me endlessly sad.
"Aquarius..." I whispered, tears already slowly running down my face. It was Aquarius' star constellation and it shone oh so painfully bright.
The room was soon filled with the sounds of my sobs while I wasn't able to turn my gaze away from the stars.
I did not only miss Aquarius, but my other friends too. My family. But it would've hurt too much to see them. I bet they hated me. I took one of their precious family members away from them. "I hope you guys can forgive me at some point in the future. Because I surely can't forgive myself." I whispered to myself, feeling my heart being swallowed by guilt again.
I quietly kept sobbing for another hour while staring outside, my mind filled with thoughts of everything that happened, before I slowly fell asleep again.

~the next morning~

The next morning I was woken up by a voice of a man calling my name. "Oi blonde, wake up" he sounded slightly worried. My eyes slowly fluttered open. I had a massive headache. My eyes wandered to the person next to me.
"Oh, Laxus. Good morning," my voice sounded hoarse.
"You cried, didn't you? Why? Does it hurt somewhere? Should I call Wendy? Do you want something to drink?" He asked way too many questions!
"Water would be nice." I smiled. My eyes were red and puffy from crying, that must've been what has given away that I cried.
At the moment I just wanted to be able to wash my face, getting rid of the trail of my tears and sweat.
Laxus already left to get me something to drink and came back a minute later. I gave him a small, thankful smile. He really was caring.
But soon after a frown followed because of me remembering last night's nightmare.

~Flashback~

I stood in the same dark room from all of my other dreams. At first I thought it was was the same as always, but after the things she would always say it changed.
"I was never important to you."
"H-huh...? That's not true! You know I loved you like you were my mother!"
"You just used me. You already replaced me. You never cared for me. You took everything important from me. It's all your fault you selfish, slutty whore!! Seducing various men with your ugly, slutty body!" She screams at me, her voice dripping with venom. I wasn't able to say anything anymore. I was just crying while believing everything she said.

~Flashback end~

"Blonde? Blonde?.... Lucy? Hey!" Someone lightly shook my shoulders. I snapped back out of my thoughts and looked up. Above me stood a worried Laxus. "You there now? You didn't respond for about 5 minutes and just started crying. Is everything okay? What the hell is up with you?" He asked while sitting back in his chair and ran his hand through his hair. I didn't even realize I cried.
"We'd like to know that too." We both looked to the door, seeing the other three guys standing there.
"It's nothing." I plainly answered and adverted my eyes. A obvious lie.
"We all know that's a lie Lucy." Gray said while he and the others came towards my bed and sat down on their chairs.
"I... It's something personal. I just really don't want to talk about it." I said with my voice still being hoarse.
"Oi Lushee, your voice sounds funny." Happy giggled. Everybody have him a short glare.
"Can somebody please just give me something to drink? My head and throat just really hurt and I don't really want to argue with you guys right now." We all sighed and went silent.
Natsu and Gray helped me with sitting up and drinking. "Lucy. At some point you really need to tell us what happened. You can't keep it to yourself forever." In that moment Wendy came in and threw out the guys and exceeds to do the daily check-up and to wash me.
'Oh Mavis, I hate not being able to do anything myself.' I sighed.
Wendy was finished about one and a half hours and left afterwards.
So once again it was silent except from the happy voices and music that could be heard from the guild. They seemed to be in a good mood like always.
Wendy told me that nothing changed, but we would probably start with rehab in a few days. Finally! I couldn't wait to able to walk again. I was sure I could do it. Even though the little dragon slayer said that we needed to start from zero and do only baby steps so we won't stress my body too much. But we would start with me training to move my arms and legs even a little bit.
I hope I can do it. Maybe... I don't know. I was tired again, but too scared to sleep.
'F*cking mood swings...'

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Yes! Finally! An update! Thank you guys so so much for 550 views and the votes!
Sorry I didn't update, but I had some family issues and well... I'm a lazy human being 😂😂