if only - jjk

Part 8- Chance

JI-EUN'S POV~

I was just starring at the ceiling, waiting for something to happen. Then the door suddenly opened. I sat up to see who opened the door, but it was just Suji.

"Hey...." she greeted as i lied on the bed again.

"Hey..." i replied to her as she closed the door behind her.

"So, about Jung-" i cut her off.

"Sorry. I don't want to hear his name." i spat, annoyed. I saw Suji's eyes softened at that.

"Look, if he's the reason why you came here, you can now leave." i didn't even looked at her when i said it but i can tell the she was (jung) shook about what i just said. Few minutes of silence, then she finally left the room.

"I'm sorry." i don't know why but i had the sudden urge to cry. So, i did.

"I'm really sorry. For hurting you. I was just defending myself. I was selfish. I'm sorry." i cried. I was just crying the whole time that i didn't know i fell asleep.

JUNGKOOK'S POV~

All i can see was white. I feel numbed.

"Urgh, what happen?" i said as i blinked several times to clear my vision. Then it suddenly hit me. I was in a car accident.

"Ah!" i sat up straight after a memory flashed in my mind.

*I was driving my car in the fastest way i could imagine. I can see police cars following me behind but i didn't care about it. I just wanna get away from my life. Leave all the past, present, and future behind. I don't wanna keep doing life anymore. Then, i saw....her. That's the last thing i saw.*

"Jungkook, are you okay?" Suji ran to me, concerned.

"What?! Oh- ye- yeah. I'm fine. Just a nightmare, that's all." i reassured her and her eyes softened. Then silence filled the room. Until i broke it.

"So, about Ji-" she cut me off.

"She said she doesn't wanna hear your name. I'm sorry." her eyes saddened at the comment.

"So, do you remember why you are here?" she changed the topic after she saw my eyes saddened, as she sat on the chair next to my bed.

"Yes. I was in a car accid-" i cut myself.

"Wait. It wasn't an accident isn't it?" i questioned and i saw Suji grew confused.

"It wasn't an accident."

JI-EUN'S POV~

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Seokjin asked me, concerned.

"I feel, nice. Ready to die actually." i laughed a little at my last comment.

"I'm really sorry-"

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault. I understand. Really." i reassured him, his eyes soft as he looked at me in the eyes.

"I believe that today is your birthday, am i right?" he changed the topic.

"Yes. The same day where i die." i sarcastically stated.

"Ji-eun, can you please stop bringing that topic up in this conversation?" he said, i can tell that he is a bit annoyed.

"Few more hours and then... Boom! I'm dead. Hahaha." i said, still didn't listen to him.

"I don't even get why you are so happy to die."

"It's because i don't even have the reason to live anymore."