Chapter 40 - I can't do this

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Renne's POV

I sit here against the wall feeling like my heart broke into four billion pieces. My mother is dying. The person who taught me how to walk, talk, love the people around me, but also deal with the broken hearts from the jerk guys that dumped or cheated on me before Blake. I'm losing my best friend to the disease that conquers most of the victims. She doesn't deserve this. None of the victims do. This horrible thing is taking human kind down. And great, loving people have to suffer from it. It's so cruelty unfair.

After I think about how angry I'm getting I try to settle down when Blake reaches for my hands to help me stand up. He wipes my tears off my cheeks and kisses my forehead. I wrap my arms around his waist telling him I need his comfort. He does the same and holds me there while I cry into his muscular chest.

I feel Madeleine come up and stand beside us.

"Mommy why are you crying", she asks.

"Honey grandma is sick", Blake tells her. He wipes my tears again and releases me from the hug. He picks up Madeleine.

"Oh well, is she gonna be okay", she asks curious.

"We don't know baby", I answer her. 

The doctor sees us standing in the hallway and walks over to us.

"Hi guys. How are you holding up?", he asks.

"Not so well, I was in tears", I chuckle trying to lighten my mood.

"Well, we're doing our best to keep an eye on your mom", he tells us.

"Thanks. Can I see her", I ask him. She is in ICU so you have to have permission to go in any of the rooms.

"Um yes. Let me get a nurse to go in with you. You can have two people in there only", he explains.

"Okay thanks", I say. The nurse takes Madeleine and I inside the room.

"Hi mom", I say walking over to the bed holding Madeleine.

"Hi babe", she says hugging me. I take in this moment and realize I need to spend every moment I can with her.

"How are you feeling mom", I ask trying not to cry in front of her. 

"I'm hanging in there babe. It's just everytime I fall asleep they want to come in and give me medicine or check my breathing or heart rate", she explains with her words slurred.

"Well try to hang in there I'll be in the waiting room all night if you want to see me. And update me on any information you get", I say attempting a smile. 

"Alright I will", she says slowly.

"And one more thing its almost Christmas so hang in there, you wouldn't want to miss your first grand daughters Christmas", I smile.

"Alright I will babe. See you soon", she says.

"Bye Bye grandma", Madeleine stutters cutely.

"Bye sweetie", she says kissing her cheek.

I walk out with Madeleine and walk down the hallway to find Blake. 

"Hi babe how is she feeling", he asks.

"She's powering through it", I say barley holding back my tears.

"That's good, and how about you? Are you okay", he asks.

"No" I mumble going into his arms. He pulls me into a hug by grabbing my waist. I start balling into his chest. "She doesn't deserve this", I say still crying. He hugs me tighter comforting me. 

"Mommy why are you crying", Madeleine studers.

"Because my mommy is sick babe. Did you see grandma in the bed", I ask her.

"Yeah", she answers.

"Well she needs tho be taken care of by those people in there", I tell her.

"Oh....

Blake wipes my tears away from my cheeks and kisses my forehead.  "I love you", he whispers looking into my eyes with his head on mine.

"How about you stay here with your mom because I imagine you will want to and I'll take Madeleine with me to go get some food. What do you want babe", Blake asks. 

"Just get me something at wherever you guys go", I tell him. 

"Okay babe see you soon love you", he says giving me a quick kiss.

"Love you too babe", I say returning his kiss, and with that I went to go find the waiting room inside the ICU.

"Hey mom I'm glad your awake", I smile.

"Me too. Sit down", she smiles back.

"So I'm afraid I don't have much longer so I would just like to say, I am so proud of the beautiful woman you became. I'm so proud of how quickly you matured when you found out that you were pregnant with Madeleine and I'm so proud of how you handled everything. Also tell Blake I love him and tell him thank you for taking care of you and Madeleine and being a man and staying around when everything happend", she smiles with tears in her eyes.  

"Aww mom I hope you get to stay around much longer but, thank you so much for that. And I will tell Blake.  I love you mom", I said crying. 

"I love you too", she says slowly with tears.

With that we sat there and hugged each other.  Then the worst thing happened her heart rate slowly went to a stop and she died in my arms. The doctors came in and unhooked her I.V. I stepped out of the room and dialed Blake's number.

"Hello", he answers.

"She's gone Blake", I cry.

"I'll be up there shortly hang in there babe", he tells me.

And with that I hang up the phone and slide my back down the wall of the hallway.

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           AUTHORS NOTE

Hey guys let me know on how you liked this chapter! I tried to make it longer this time!

Comment, vote, and fan.

Love you all!

-kierra

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