There Is A Light

Friday, I'm not in love

Let me tell you a story real quick about how I, Allura Luz, am 20 years old and have yet to have a boyfriend. Okay maybe sixth grade I had one but does anyone really count that??

So story goes like this, junior year little me is walking with a friend and it just so happens the new kid (who happened to be hot, well according to me) is in my p.e. class! He sees me walking with my friend and walks on over to say hi. Of course my friend and I blush because wow. Then, hottie asks me what I'm doing after school. Now shy awkward girl who's never been asked out or anything, responds back with, "oh. I'm going to college."  Hottie smirks and then tells me he meant what I was doing after school like at that moment (since it was after school). I laughed it off and said I had to go home, then there goes the new kid skating off into the distance. I haven't talked to him since then.

Now cue back to Allura in 2017. Still single, does not go out except of course with my besties. It's Friday and I don't have any school because that's how I chose my classes, so my birthday weekend has officially begun! But I'm laying down in my room listening to The Cure and scrolling down my Instagram feed. Lots of food pictures and throwbacks of god knows who, but I keep my Instagram busy with pictures of random things and the occasional picture of me. I don't usually take selfies but when I do, it's because a girl is feelin' herself. Cue Beyoncé!

When I walk downstairs and see my mom's car keys aren't in their usual place, I assume she's at work or with Andrew because she sometimes has Fridays off. I make myself some waffles and chocolate milk, and go right back upstairs once I'm done eating and as soon as I walk into my room  my phone starts ringing. Flopping down on my bed I see an area code that I don't recognize.

Frowning I decide to answer, "Hello?" I hear someone muffle something, "Hello??" I wait another few seconds before I hear, "Hey lady." Holy crap.

It's one of my brothers,"Cedrick? Is that you?" I sit up on my bed, "Hey, yeah it's me who else?" I roll my eyes, "Well I didn't recognize the area code so obviously I wouldn't know it would be you." Cedrick chuckles, "Well now that you have my number, save it. But listen I'm sorry I haven't called, when I changed my number I lost all my contacts and couldn't remember your number. I know I'm such a terrible big brother but Dom also changed his number." My two idiot brothers, and to think they'd ignore me on purpose, but I wouldn't doubt it since I still live with mom.

"You assholes! I thought you guys abandoned me! I haven't heard from both of you in a month! Can't you remember my number by heart? Jesus you guys are idiots! How did you find my number??"

My eyes teared up and I had to hold it together, Cedrick and Dominick, two of my favorite people, my heroes. Dominick is the oldest but Cedrick is the mama duck, they're only two years apart, Dom is 26 and Cedrick is 24. We always joke around and pick on each other we would have the best of times. But when they left they promised to stay in touch. Which they did until the past month.

"I had to call dad because of all numbers I remembered his. Thankfully his assistant answered and she emailed me the last known number dad had of you."

Yup. I still have the same number I had back in middle school. I was 12 when the divorce was official, my father bought me my phone as an apology, Dom was 18 but still lived with us, and Cedrick was 16. Dom didn't move out until he was 20 and then Cedrick moved out at 18 with Dom. But they then went their separate ways to explore. "Did you give Dom my number? I miss you guys." I hear my brother sigh, "I know kiddo, I miss you too. Happy Birthday!! It's a day late but I swear I'll see you soon. Well. Shit that was my surprise but Dom and I will be back in town tomorrow, and we want to see you kid." I screamed and heard my brother curse on the other line, "Cedrick!! That's the best surprise gift ever!! I've been worrying my ass off because I didn't know where you both were." My tears were flowing down my face and just then someone was calling me on the other line, "Ugh. Someone is on the other line Cedrick." He laughs, "Answer kiddo believe me. I'll talk to you later. Love you kid." And like that he hung up and I answered the other line.

"Hello?"

"So I hear my little ace heard the news."

"Dom!! God I could just punch you! How do you guys do that?"  Him and Cedrick are like gossip girls I swear. "Don't worry about it kid. Happy Birthday ace, tomorrow we'll get to celebrate. And no buts about it, you are 20 now. I remember you coming home from the hospital." My brothers are teddy bears and damn any girls who break their hearts. But also I'll slap them silly if they mess around, "Dom I've been worried sick, I-" He cuts me off, "I know kid but we'll explain tomorrow and don't tell mom we've been in touch. Love you, I'll text you tonight."

And then he's gone. My whole day 10x better and I can't wait to see my brothers. I know brothers and sisters have their differences but Cedrick and Dominick have been the best big brothers ever, I can't even imagine my life without them. Run down on us since the divorce.

Dom and Cedrick had lived in California until they moved. I would visit them often, they would stay at friends houses or at a point had a place of their own. Since Dom was 20 & Cedrick was 18 when they moved out they stayed with each other until Dom was 23 and Cedrick was 21. Then they stayed at friends houses here and there until Dominick moved to Europe, specifically Paris. Cedrick moved to Seattle and loved it there. We would text every other day, of course I would message Dominick on Facebook or now WhatsApp when he left, but after this past month without talking to them I thought that was it, I know sad to think about but they don't tolerate mom at all, to the point that I think one day they'll just stop keeping in touch. But I'm so glad that they are back.

I hear the door open downstairs and hear giggling and muffled voices. My mom is home and I would assume Andrew is with her. I don't bother going downstairs, instead I get up and close my door and blast my music some more.

Crap. Tomorrow is Saturday, I was supposed to hang out with Ray and Nora. I could just text them to come with my brothers and I or we could go out later than intended. I decide to text them in our group chat and see what's up.

*group chat name: QUEENIES*

Me: Heeey guys

Nora: Hey babe!

Ray: Aww Luraaaa! What's up?

Lura was my nickname that they call me, like kiddo is my nickname with Cedrick and Dom, and then Ace with Dom.

Me: sooo about tomorrow

Ray: NOPE THATS WHAT YOU ARE NOT GONNA DO

Nora: GURL YES WE HAVE PLANNED THIS

Me: My brothers are back in town tomorrow, and they want to take me out. I said yes bc I totally forgot we were gonna hang. But we still can if you want to come with us or we could go out later.

Ray: so you mean to tell me that your brothers are back after being MIA?! Wow. But yeah it's cool we can just hang out later

Nora: Yeah that's fine!! Same place just text us when you are ready to go out

Me: Thanks. I'll text you guys later about everything else

Nora & Ray: Bye Lura!!

I get up and make my way over to my dresser to see what to wear. I feel like buying more books for my beautiful bookshelf so that's what I'll do today, as a gift to myself. Digging through my clothes and throwing a shirt or two on the ground I decide to wear my black hoodie with my dark jeans and my vans. It's sort of hot out but I'll survive.

Going down stairs I hear Andrew and my mom talking about a trip. I make my way to them in the living room, "hey mom, I'm going out to the store. My uber should be here in like 10 minutes." My mom looks at me and smiles, " Okay just make sure when you get back to lock up at night. Andrew and I are going to visit his mom in Palm Springs, she's come down with something." Andrew clears his throat and looks uncomfortable with my moms little spill. I just look at him and give him a nod. Odd really, my mom is not the type to go out of her way to visit anyone really.

When my dads mom was dying in the hospital, I was about 8 maybe? My dad had to beg her to go with him, literally. I felt bad for him and I remember asking him if I can go instead but he just shook his head and left. My mom didn't go and my grandma died that night. I think that's when everything started to deteriorate little by little until they finally called it a quits.

So I get up and wait outside for my uber to go to one of my favorite places.

Barnes and Noble.