Remembering Him

I remember staring at him. His eyes were one shade, a dark chocolate brown. His hair the same colour with soft curls across his head. His skin covered in black skintight jeans crumpling at the bottom and a grey hoodie.

I remember holding hands with him. His hands weren't soft; nor were mine.

I remember feeling happy. Not the happy when you can't stop smiling and it last for ten minutes, the happy where your eyes are brighter, your mind is clearer and you don't feel overwhelmed with emotions because you only feel one.

I remember seeing him smile. He didn't smile lopsided or in a cocky way, he smiled in a genuine happy way that showed his perfectly straight teeth that he was self conscious of.

I remember the hot, grainy sand beneath my feet. I was standing and watching him, he was having fun and would check up on me to make sure I never moved. I wanted to though, I really did. The sun beating down on my singlet covered skin was burning. The longer I stood the more I feel it searing like I'd touched a flame.

I remember the last time I saw him. He told me he was leaving. His chocolate brown eyes now having light browns mixed in and a dark purple underneath. I knew he wasn't sleeping well. His once soft curls now looked tangled and stuck up. His hands were shaky and you should see his knuckles now; I didn't like it. I never replied to him because my vision was like a child's watercolour painting. The salty tears leaked out of my eyes uncontrollably as I wrapped my shaking body around his now bony frame.

I remember waking up without him. I didn't think he was going to leave how he did but his mum called and I knew something was wrong when her voice was a nearly audible croak and shout of pain-I told her I'd be there soon.

I remember seeing his families faces. They were all tear stained with red puffy eyes and snotty noses. It seemed no one bothered with trying to hold back their feelings. I was numb. I opened my mouth but released a gasp and crumpled to the ground like someone stepped on me. Tears flowed seamlessly. My best friend was gone and I watched him slowly fade.

I woke up this morning and looked around at the white walls. Beside me were the chocolate brown eyes that were just one shade, the softly curled hair and his genuine smile. His hands reached to mine, they did not shake, nor were they thin enough to see his knuckles. I felt happy again, so happy I started to laugh. He didn't understand. I knew he wouldn't.

"I just had an emotional roller coaster of a dream" I said while wiping a tear that was shed by laughing.

Based on a dream that I had encountered.