I sat there in the kitchen waiting for Finn to come back for about 45 minutes until i realized he wasn't coming back. And honestly? I couldn't blame him.
I decide to go for a drive to try to clear my head.
I don't even know where I'm going, im just making random turns and going on random roads.
I find myself at some random beach sitting right by the waters edge and staring out at the ocean.
"God, im so fucking tired of THINKING!" I scream out loud, earning a few glances from random people, but i dont even care.
Its true. All i do is think and think and think until i drive myself insane. I dont know what to do to stop it though, partying was one option but after last night im pretty sure ill never party again.
Ive always hated silence, ever since i was a little girl.
I would always be drumming on things or humming to myself, at night i slept with a fan too.
I remember the silence after my mom died.
Those few moments where I was processing everything that had just happened.
That my own father had just murdered my mom.
I remember the look on my dads face after he did it. There wasnt even a tinge of regret in his eyes, instead there was some kind of flame, like he enjoyed what he just did.
A dinging noise from my phone saves me from my thoughts, and i look to see who it was, hoping and praying that it was Finn. He hadn't tried to text or call me all day, and i was getting anxious.
Sadly, it wasnt.
Ella- hes out.
For a second im confused, then my heart falls out of my ass when the realization hits me.
He's out.
Jacob's out.
Finns POV
I walked out Kelsies front door, slamming the door behind me and speeding away in my car.
Part of me is telling me to turn the car around, and another part of me is telling me to drive away until my wheels fall off.
I cant believe i just did that. I told her I loved her, and she just sat there and stared at me.
What if she didnt love me back?
What if I scared her away?
I shook my head, trying to make the thoughts go away.
I mean I know were fighting right now, but i still care about her more then ive ever cared about anything before, and i know it was wrong to run out on her like that, but i just think we both need some space. And besides, this is me giving her independence right?
I find myself parked by the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean, and sit down on the edge.
I sigh deeply, wondering how i got here.
This is all your fault. You shouldn't have been so overprotective of her. If you would've just let her live her life then you wouldn't be here.
"FUCK!" I yell hoping to release some of the tension, and surprisingly I feel better.
"Finn?" I hear from behind me, and whip around to see Millie. Why is she here?
"Oh hey Mills, whats up?"
"Well I was driving home from work and saw you on the highway going over 100 miles an hour, so I figured something was wrong and came to check on you. What happened?"
She must not know about anything yet, since she hasn't been home. I explain everything to her, from the cafe to the kitchen this morning.
By the end her jaw is hanging open, and her eyes are wide.
"Now here i am, sitting on a cliff hating myself" i say, looking out at the ocean.
"Wow Finn, i really dont know what to say. Kelsie is one of my best friends, and so are you. I know her really well from living with her for these few months, and she says she wants space but she really doesn't. Whenever she's alone she thinks too much, its not good for her. I know she got mad about her 'independence' this morning, but i dont think she really meant it. She was just worked up. She cares about you more then she cares about herself, i assure you she doesnt want any kind of space from you"
She laughs a little to herself
"Whats so funny?"
"You two. Youre both absolutely crazy for eachother, and neither of you realize it"
"How do you know?"
She gives me a look before saying
"How do you not? She was a complete mess without you, she was so broken. then you come back and suddenly shes okay again, just like that.
And now here you guys are, fighting over something so stupid. Since you both are so madly in love with eachother, you both have a lot of hormones. You don't know how to handle it, thats why youre fighting over something as stupid as this"
I consider what Millies saying, nodding my head.
I really hope its as simple as she makes it seem. The more i think about it, the more i realize how stupid this argument is.
"Thank you Millie, really. Im glad we had this talk"
She smiles and throws her hair behind her shoulder
"Im pretty much a therapist. Lets head back now, its getting late"
I check my phone and see shes right, its already 8:00.
Kelsie hasn't tried to contact me at all today, and im starting to get worried. Did things go to far?
Millie heads back to her car, and i go to mine. I wish we could drive together, i need something to distract me from thinking too much.
Finally i cant take the silence any longer and pick up my phone to call Kelsie. It rings a couple times, normally she picks up on the first ring.
It goes to voicemail.
Kelsies POV
Here I am, laying in the back seat of my car with my top down, in some random field, sobbing my eyes out. Ive cried so much in the past few days, i really shouldnt have any tears left.
But i do, and ive cried so much that i can barely keep my eyes open anymore. The sun is starting to set, casting a beautiful mix of pinks and purples and deep oranges into the sky.
A sunset this pretty should really be spent with Finn. He'd think it was beautiful. But, thanks to me being the dumbest bitch on the planet, that cant happen.
My life is really starting to fall apart.
First, the partying. I was doing good, id been sober for about a month, and that doesnt sound like a lot, but it was a big deal considering how fucked up i was before.
Second, the fight with Finn. Finn means more to me then life itself, and because i was being careless and not thinking about what i was saying, i mightve just lost him for good. I wouldnt be able to handle losing him again, and especially not over something like this.
And now, Jacob's out of jail. It had been about a year and a half, and i though his sentence was 20 years. But no, life just loves to torture me. Thats really the last thing i need right now. Of course, once i finally start to feel safe he has to pop back up.
What am i gonna do? Hes probably on his way to find me right now, theres no way i can go home, and especially while Finn and I are on bad terms.
Maybe i should just leave. Go home and pack a bag then drive until i cant anymore. Not even tell anyone where im going. The more people know, the bigger the risk of being found is.
My phone ringing brings me out of my thoughts, but i choose not to answer it. Whats the point anyway? Its probably just someone wondering where i am or when ill be home.
A feeling of numbness im all to familiar with spreads over me as I continue to consider my plan.
If im gone, my friends are at less of a risk of getting hunted down by him too. They'll be better off without me, all of them will. They can sleep at night feeling safe.
Finn can find someone new, someone way less problematic than me, someone better.
Not gonna lie, thinking about this kills me, but at the same time i know it would be best for him.
My phone buzzes again, this time a text message.
Unknown- im sure youve already heard the news. See you soon baby.
I bite my hand over my mouth to keep myself from crying. Tears blur my vision, but i see that Finn tried to call me.
Suddenly, someone starts calling me, and i see its Finn. I answer and try to pull myself together enough to talk to him.
"Oh my god you answered" he breathed into the phone
"yeah" i said weakly, scared to say too much so he wouldn't know ive been crying.
"Kelsie im so so sorry about how i acted earlier. I wasnt thinking, i- whats wrong?"
I guess he heard me sniffle, i thought i muted it but i guess not. Hearing him ask that caused me to lose it and start sobbing all over again.
"Finn, its Jacob. Hes out. I dont know how, i thought his sentence was 20 years, but ella texted me that hes out" i decided to leave out the part about him texting me, i couldnt handle talking about it right now.
Finn doesn't say anything, and that makes everything so much worse.
"Finn, i know youre mad and i know I completely deserve it but please, say something"
"I dont- i dont know what to say. If he even thinks about coming near you, im gonna make him regret the day he was born. Im so sorry Kelsie."
Its silent for a moment, and i know what i need to do.
"Run away with me Finn"
"What?"
"Run away. Lets pack up a bag and hit the road. Just you and me"
He doesnt say anything, i can practically see him thinking.
"You really think we could do that?"
"Yes, and even if you dont come with me, im going. Im leaving tonight. You dont have to come, I completely understand i know its craz-"
"Im coming. Ill meet you at your house at 10, okay?"
"Okay."
Lmao i know this is long and prolly not very good but im leaving for vaca tom and prolly wont be updating for a little so hehe here u go- edit lmao i had written jacob as jake just because it was shorter and i thought people would understand that it meant jacob but its too confusing so im just gonna stick w jacob
