Memoire of a Messed up Teen

I. Mothertrucker, dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick!

Well this is the story of how shit specifically my shit turned from messed up to semi less messed up. High school has a way to do that to a person. You go in with high expectations and before you leave that hell hole you and those expectations change. Life changes, people change, and it's usually for the worst. People freshman year all go in being all nice and stuff. At least with me, but then as the years went on more and more people think being a dick is cool. You would think after watching 13 reasons why and realizing how much being a dick can affect people that maybe just maybe people might change. Yet nothing, high school just brings out the worst of people. You would think 4 years would be a breeze. Heck school before had been longer and easier. Remember in elementary school when you got all A's & B's and everything was so much simpler. When girls had cooties and boys were icky. Damn times similar to people really do switch up on you. Yet here I am 4 years in about to graduate and well there's a reason I'm telling my story. My life and probably yours lives have sucked in high school. No sugar coating it. You want so much more out of life that you just can't get right now. The social uneasiness, the very extreme hornyness, all the shit that makes teenage life suck. Well high school amplifies that shit. Teenagers gossip and teenagers spread false rumors that really sucks. Let me start at the beginning. Freshman year was a blur. The so called dating of middle school changed. I now had to physically interact with the person I was "dating". Wow what a change of pace. If I get cooties from kissing a girl I am most def sueing. I went into highschool going to a public school outside of my city. I knew some people, but as you know high school is a pretty big place and is huge compared to middle school. I didn't have many friends in most classes, and so I had to make new friends. Wow does that shit suck. Why does meeting new people suck so much? Does anyone got a solution for that problem. The feeling of getting to know new people unsure if they will like you or not. Maybe it's just me and you are really good with people. But as I was saying I had to get to know new people. And it sucked for me. One such getting to know a person was incredibly awkward. I met this one pretty nerdy boy in my honors english class. We were sitting next to each other, and he was wearing a star wars jacket. First thing I thought was who wears a jacket in August and in California no less. But I approached him and said something along the lines of hey man I love star wars too, and then he gave me this face that said you don't even know what loving star wars means. He then proceeded to quiz me on the movies, and I being an avid movie watcher and a star wars fan put him in his place. Ironically he and I didn't become friends because life isn't like the movies and you don't just befriend someone like that. If life was like the movies I would want to be Troy from Highschool Musical. But no i have no Gabriella or even a Sharpay and my head is not in the game.But in real life having someone be your friend is pretty hard. Most people consider people they know as friends, but are they really friends? Do you even know the slightest bit about your friends ?Really ask yourself can you answer a few simple questions about most of your friends: What is their fav color, what kind of music do they like,or what are their hobbies. How can you call each other friends yet not even know the basics of someone. I ,unlike most people, like to get to know my friends. That is why I only have a few close friends and then people I talk to but am not really on a friend basis yet. So yeah the rest of my first couple of days went super smooth. I settled into school, did most of my homework, realized I sucked at math you know the basic freshman stuff. The four years of high school shaped me into the person I am today. And although I haven't had the easiest time I am glad with the person I am today. The next chapters are going to delve into parts of my high school life that as a whole have made me pretty miserable.That is all in the past though and life isn't static. I am writing as a reminder you are not alone in your pain, and as for me things have gotten way better. You probably relate to some of my stories or some of my feelings or some of the questions I ask. If you ever need someone to talk to there are always people out there willing to hear you out and accept you for you whoever you are.