The Twins And Me (BoyxBoyxBoy)

Little Minou

"What are you waiting for? Pneumonia? Get the fuck in!" 

His harsh tone yanked me back to reality. I closed my gawking mouth and hurriedly obeyed, tripping over my own two feet as I scrambled into the car. 

The car smelled like new leather. My wet vans squeaked against the floor as I shuffled my feet nervously. He hit the gas and we were off. 

The ride was silent. I was scared to even open my mouth and breathe too loudly, let alone ask where he was taking me. He had one hand on the steering wheel while the other was currently running through his hair. He was growling angrily under his breathe. I caught a few words like moron, idiot and fucking stupid. I started picking at my sweaters sleeve nervously. He was obviously mad that I was soaking his, by the looks of it, new car. 

I tried not to look at him. He had the perfect jaw, not too sharp but not too round. His profile was drool worthy. And was that stubble? Shiver. 

I clenched my thighs together and turned my head to look out the window. Had Ryder followed me all the way from the bookstore? 

The car pulled up smoothly next to my house. He was one hell of a driver. He could probably drive blindfolded and it would be better then my shaky, jerky, if you could even call it that- driving.  

I sat in silence debating what to do. I reached out and grasped the handle, tugging on it. It was locked. 

I peeked at him, his eyes were set dead ahead, the permanent scowl on his lush lips. 

"Thank you for the ride" I whispered my voice cracking. 

His only response was to blink. Had he even heard me? 

"Ho-How much?" 

"What?" He finally responded his tone making me shiver. His voice was hoarse and raspy, but god, it turned me on. 

I prayed he didn't hear the strain in my tone as I responded "For the ride. Should I pay you? I mean, the doors locked and you're not really saying anything and you look kind of mad so I figured-"

His deep chuckle cut me off. "I don't want your money little Minou."

What did he just call me? 

We sat quietly for a bit longer. 

Ryder sighed deeply then reached over me and flicked the little switch next to the handle and popped open the door. My face caught fire at not noticing the obvious way to unlock the car door. I swung my feet out over the side when he grabbed a fistful of my hoodie yanking me back. "Give me your phone."

I reached into my pocket withdrawing the device and handed it over. "Password?" I felt my ears turn red. "pizza is bae. No spaces." He typed it in, one perfect dark eyebrow raised, a smile tugging at his lips. Those flawless lips. What would they feel like against mine? 

No. Begone bad thoughts. 

"Here" He slipped the phone back into my pocket. "I want you to call me next time you're stuck walking in the rain." I nodded and stumbled out of the car, back to my front door in a daze. I watched as the sleek black vehicle pulled away and sailed down the empty street. 

§      §      §

"Ma I'm home!"

It was very sudden. The wave of utter hopelessness washed over me, I could feel it whispering in my ear "You're all alone in this world. People only care on the surface. No one truly loves you."

Taking the stairs two at a time I burst into my room almost tripping over the piles of books on the floor. I leaped onto my bed and curled up in my blanket like a cocoon. 

People usually assume that depression is being sad all the time. It's not. It's the feeling of complete lack of motivation to do anything. It's a nothingness that eats away at your soul. Even the basics of self care become a challenge, and it's a struggle to get out of bed.

There was a time after Katie had moved away when I wouldn't leave my room, where showering and brushing my teeth was took a huge amount of effort. I had felt so alone, so completely abandoned. I knew it wasn't her fault, yet I couldn't help but blame her at the time. 

I clutched the blanket tighter, my breathing becoming more erratic by the second.  

My breath came out in short spurts, my hands started shaking, drops of sweat slid down the small of my back. 

I buried my head in my pillow and screamed I hated this. I hated this feeling of helplessness against the dark thoughts. 

I reached out my trembling hand and grabbed the over-ear headphones that I always kept close to me. I missed the headphone jack the first couple of tries but eventually got it. I turned up the volume, and let the thumping bass wash over me. 

Honestly, music saves lives. 

I stayed like that for some time, waiting for my heart to calm down. My hands were still slightly shaky, so when I tried skipping a song I accidentally opened the recent calls log. 

Ryder -11:04 pm.

Had he called himself from my phone? I guess that made sense, but... But now he has my number! Why on earth would he want that? And what was with the way he saved his contact? Ryder. He assumed I didn't know any other Ryders. What a douche. And no last name? Who does that? 

Ryder. There was something very powerful about that single name. It demanded respect, much like the name's owner. 

Hands still quivering slightly I selected the contact and pressed the edit button. What should I change his name to? Hmm... Raging Asshole has a certain ring to it. Or maybe Dangerous Douche. So many possibilities... 

I sighed and pressed the save option. I would change it later, maybe with Seth tomorrow. He would surely get a laugh out of all of this. 

I felt my eyes growing heavy till I couldn't be bothered to keep them open anymore. I snuggled up in my warm nest of blankets and sheets, adjusting my arms to support my head, unaware that I was still clutching the phone, my fingers brushing over it, the backlight dimming as the screen turned black filled with white circles and at the bottom of the red one, used to end calls, the bold name Ryder taking up the top of the screen.