Forgotten

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Four day left—a day wasted. I didn’t tell anyone about my plans knowing the consequences. I pulled on a plain gray shirt and dark blue jeans and then grabbed my wallet and keys. Time was wasting.

            I ran down the stairs as I headed for the car. I heard mom calling from the kitchen as she tried to play along with our routine. “Morning I was thinking—“

I didn’t have time to talk. “Bye mom.” I called as I headed for the door. For a moment I saw the concern displayed on her face. I couldn’t help but feel guilty for the way I treated her. She was only trying to protect me from being hurt and here I was running away and leaving more worry for her. I mentally promised to call her later and explain everything as I hopped into the car.

            I stopped at a bakery and got a coffee and bagel on the way then drove to wherever I was going.

My destination: away. I didn’t care where I was going. I made a series of turns. Although I was running from a bloodthirsty gang, I was enjoying the ride. I felt free with a discovery and a surprise at every turn. I never know where I’ll end up. On the other hand, I could’ve been here before and not remember with my memory lost.

             I looked to the empty seat beside me. I thought about the time when Johanna laughed on the day it rained.  “You know, you don’t always have to be alone.” I tuned on the radio and shook my head it was as if Johanna’s words were a mockery of Brody’s. I turned off the radio as quickly as I turned it on. Only songs that played to my foster siblings’ taste were on. I didn’t understand how kids enjoy listening to people sing about partying and sex.

            Without the radio playing, silence fell again leaving me to my own concerning thoughts. I thought about Brody and I how I broke his promise. I promised him that I would take care of Ronnie and I can’t even risk spending any time with her right now. It seems like I’m enable to keep any promises.

            When the stars came out I stopped at the cheapest hotel I could find.

My apartment had an odd odor with windows covered in stained white curtains that look like they never touched soap before. The designed wallpaper was ripped making the walls look like a scrapbook page rather than the wall of a room. 

            I pulled my phone out and sat on the bed. The bed was old and I could feel the springs within it.

My foster mother gave me my phone the day I came back from the hospital. It was new with no history giving me my home number as the only contacts I had. I then realize how alone I really am in the world— how almost everyone I ever loved is dead.

I called my home number hoping mom would pick up. It would be more awkward if one of the foster kids pick it up. No one answered and I heard the typical “Leave a message after the beep” greeting.

I ranked my hand through my hair and left my message.

“Hey mom…It’s Rowan.” I waited to see if anyone would pick up with no contentment. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay. I’ll be coming home as soon as I can…Bye”

I lied down. It was dark in my room and I could see the lights of cars flutter and dance on the walls until darkness came again. I felt a force pulling my eyelids and I soon fell asleep.