The Complete Mess // L.H

Chapter 1

A/N: okay so this is chapter one, please tell me if I should carry on and if its any good I really will appreciate it.

"Jamie!" I heard a thick Australian accent shout through the swarm of rushing people. It was the early hours of a Monday morning and the airport was at its busiest time.

A sleeveless shirt Ashton came into view, a huge grin adoring his face.

"How's my little sister?" He asked hugging me tightly.

I didn't return the hug, instead I awkwardly stood there tensing and wishing he would get off me.

He got the hint pulling back and giving me a weird look.

"Are you okay?" He asked unsurely.

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?" I said bluntly, giving him the cold shoulder.

"Ashton honey, I've missed you so much!" My mother pushed past me and butted in hugging ashton and kissing his cheek. Her and Ashton spent at least 5 minutes having a whispered conversation. I didn't want to be here, but i guess it was better than back at home. Anything was better than home. Although i didn't like to call it home. To me I didn't have a home.

Home should be a place where you feel safe; where you feel happy and protected. Home is where you can be comfortable and block out the world.

Home would be the place where you could escape everything and nothing mattered when you were there.

There was no doubt that it wasn't about me as Ashton kept looking over at me worriedly and confused.

I don't see everyone's problem with me. I just want everyone to leave me alone.

Since ashton left to go live his dream with his band, everything went downhill for me. My brother and my best friends had left me. They left me with no one. I became a loner, wallowing in self pity, being laughed at and picked on by other people at school who thought they were better than me.

They are better than me. I know that, they know that. Everybody knows that.

Some might say that since Ashton left, I've become a heartless bitch.

Well they sure got that right.

I honestly didn't care about anything or anyone any more and I doubt I ever will again.

I felt nothing.

Especially after that incident. No one knew what happened that day and I was intent on keeping it that way.

That day ruined me, it made something inside me click and I've never been the same since.

"Well, you be good for your brother. Don't get into trouble. God knows what I'll have to do with you then." My mother said treating me as if I wasn't a real person.

"Bye Ashton honey" she said not even acknowledging me. I glared at her retreating figure until she was out of site.

"The boys are so excited to see you" ashton said

"Oh" I replied not really caring. I wasn't excited to see them.

I followed Ashton to what looked like their tour bus.

"Mum said-"

"I don't care what she said" I snarled

"What has happened to you? You were never like this, I didn't think you had a mean bone in you" he said sounding hurt.

"Yeah... Well people change I guess." I said emotionless.

He opened the door to the tour bus and went to grab my suitcase.

"I've got it" I snapped picking up the case and following him up the few steps.

"Right, well this Is your bunk" he said gesturing to a small, cosy looking bed to the left of the tour bus

I placed my stuff down on it and sat next to it pulling my phone out and pretending to be busy.

Ashton hadn't moved and I could feel his stare on me.

"What?" I asked looking up at him

"Nothing, I have to go talk to the boys, i'll be in there." He said but I didn't bother to look at where he was pointing. He sighed before walking away and further down the small hall way.

Great. I was going to be bored shitless and even more alone then ever for the whole of the tour.

I know I had to get over myself at one point but I didn't think I could forgive the boys for leaving me. They had no idea what I had to suffer through.

A/N:please vote/comments ily xx