The Complete Mess // L.H

Chapter 4

Ashton's pov.

"What are you doing?" I asked Jamie as I walked past her. It was the morning now and everyone was up and wandering about the tour bus.

"Packing" she said bluntly throwing her clothes and chargers into her suitcase and bags.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"I'm going back to Australia"

"And when the hell did you plan on telling me this?" I shouted angrily.

"I-I thought you wanted me to go.." She stuttered out.

"What the hell made you think that?"

"It's obvious you don't want me here , none of you do, harry told me what you said about me, I don't want to ruin your careers, I'm just a burden here and I don't belong here." She said emotionless.

"That's not true" I sighed.

"It's best if I just go" she said "I'll get a taxi to the airport when we next stop"

"No" I said "you're not leaving, we all want you here"

"That's a lie and you know it. It doesn't matter if you want me here anyway because I don't want to be here" she screamed frustratedly. I wasn't letting this go.

"Jamie, stay. We love you and we've missed you. Please just stay."

She started laughing.

"You guys love me?" She asked generally interested.

I nod my head to reassure. But she laughed again but this time spitefully.

"If you guys loved me you would have never of left me" she spat.

"What's so bad that happened when we were gone? What's turned you into this?" I asked "just tell me what you're blaming the world for"

"Just leave me Alone ashton" she said and I decided to leave before I got angry and Say something ill regret later.

Jamie's pov.

Nobody understands.

I have to live with it everyday. It haunts me and I have no one to talk to about it. Those same words always run through my head and one day I would probably break.

"You're a worthless piece of shit, you're just a good for nothing whore. You have no one, look around you there's no one to help you now huh? No Calum, no Michael, no Luke and no big brother. They've all forgotten about you. They can't protect you now. They don't care about you."

I squeezed my eyes shit tightly trying to block them out but it didn't work.

"They care about me" I defended myself.

"Ha. Of course. That's why they left you here right? Because they love you so much."

"They do" I said

"No they don't. They would have taken you with them if you were that important."

"Shut up" I growled

"Oh sweetheart, I feel sorry for you. Poor little Jamie who has no friends in the world. Nobody who cares about you."

"They care" I spat

"Haven't you ever heard of pity? They were only your'e friend because they felt sorry for you. When was the last time one of them called?"

I didn't answer thinking back to the last time one of them called. It had been nearly a whole month.

"See Jamie, they don't care"

That was the day I realised that I was by myself in this life.

Words can really hurt a person. They can mentally scar and stay with you for the rest of your life.

Luke's pov.

It was currently 10pm and the boys were playing on the Xbox or something. I had retreated to my bed for an early night but ended up having to listen to Jamie get it on with some random guy. I could hear everything.

"No, wait stop" I heard Jamie say "stop"

"Don't be a tease come on you slut" the guy said. I sat up in my bunk ready to intervene.

"Please get off me" she struggled

"Get the fuck off her" I growled dragging him out by the arm and chucking him outside the tour bus. Before he left he mumbled something under his breath which I caught to be "good for nothing whore" and I slammed the door behind him in anger.

I turned to see if Jamie was alright and was surprised to find her sitting in the corner of her bunk sniffling quietly, maybe she did have feelings after all but she had them guarded behind thick black walls.

"Jamie? Are you okay?" I asked quietly.

She looked up in defeat and shook her head.

"Come here" I said pulling her into my side. Once again to my surprise she snuggled further into me, maybe she had missed the feeling of human comfort and had finally given in.

"That's what he said to me" she whispered taking deep shirt breaths in a state of panic.

"What? Who said that?" I asked curiously. Was she finally going to open up.

"Good for nothing whore, they're right you know." She said looking blankly at the floor.

"No they are not" I said angrily. "you are good for something."

"What?"

"Everything. you're good at everything" I tried to reassure her but we both knew it wouldn't work she was to stubborn to believe it no matter how much I told her.