I Broke You

Chapter 1

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"Life has many ways of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all, or by having everything happen all at once." -Paulo Coelho

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Part I: Now...

I open my eyes. Where am I? Then it all floods into my mind, what happened last night. Oh my God. My eyes move towards the sleepy figure with his mouth on my neck. I can feel his light breathing, and it tickles just a little. He looks kind of cute, I never knew he could be so...cuddly? Oh, God.

"Brennan!" I half whisper, half shout. This cannot be happening. He's 18 years old, I just turned 16 three months ago. I'm going to be a junior in high school soon. He's graduated without plans, no future. He'll probably live in this house with his parents for the rest of his life! We don't even like each other! The last few days were so nice getting to know him and I don't want any of it taken back. I just need to be calm. Breathe Emma, Breathe!

Does anything even matter anymore? I made the choice just like he did too. I can't blame his as much as I really want to right now. It's done. And It's not like I was a virgin. Rusty would never forgive me if he ever found out. He is usually very forgiving but I screwed up big this time.

Brennan mumbles something I can't quite understand and repositions himself so his mouth can reach my lips. He kisses my quickly, but sweetly. "Good morning beautiful" he whispers. I don't understand how he can be okay with any of this. We had sex! That's not even the worst part; cuddling and staying the night was more intimate.

Every time he's around me lately he seems to cast a spell. I can't help but smile at his brown eyes and messy brown hair. He smiles back, the kind of smile where half of his mouth is turned up and I can see his dimples peeking out. I suddenly become very much aware that I am naked, and so is he under all these sheets. Our legs are tangled and his cold feet are playing with mine. I wonder just how long I have been playing footsie with him.

"You look cute when you wake up" he says shyly. I hope he doesn't think this will ever happen again. It won't, right? Right?

Maybe i should just go along with this act until I leave, no more harm can be done. At least that's what I tell myself to help my forming guilt. I take both of his hands in mine and sit up in bed. "I have to go babe," babe? "My parents will kill me if they find out I'm not at Katie's house". It's the truth, but to be completely honest with myself, part of me doesn't really want to leave him. Not so soon. Sometimes I just don't understand myself and my mixed feelings.

"You don't need to. I had a good time last night Em. You were great" he says with a smirk.

"Me too. But I have to." I lean forwards and kiss his lips, surprising us both.

I take my hands out of his and wrap them around his neck. Now I can't stop myself and push him back on the bed so that I am hovering over his tanned, unclothed torso. I lean over and kiss each of the five star tattoos on his left side, moving downwards. He looks at me, his eyes gleaming while he debates what to do next. His fingers wrap around me and push me down so we are skin on skin, and I can feel his heavy heartbeat against me.

He kisses me lustfully for a few moments before pulling back. "Not now, okay?" What the hell, is he gay? Or maybe reality is finally kicking in for him.

I blush a little and slide off of him, hoping he doesn't notice just how embarrassed I am. What was I thinking? I don't know why I go would attack him.

I step off the bed and pick my clothes off of the floor, but I can't find my lacy pink bra. It couldn't have gone too far. Unless I left it at the gas station, that is. Either way I have to leave it wherever it may be. I am forced to slide on my tight tank top, and my boobs are clearly visible through the fabric. Brennan just sits on the edge of the bed, watching me intently with his puppy-like eyes.