I Broke You

Chapter 2

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"Don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose." -C.S. Lewis

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Sara pulls into my driveway and honks the horn. When she sees me she waves and motions for me to hurry up. Her platinum blond waves are nearly blinding in the sunshine.

I walk over and jump in the passenger seat. "Hey Sara" I say before buckling my seatbelt. We have been friends since the sixth grade, but we don't talk nearly as much as we should. But I can't help but think it's my fault. I don't like saying useless shit, but instead say the important things. I'm honestly not good at any form of communication, I never have been. That's why I was once such an outcast.

We small talk about how our summers have been so far, then silence.

After a minute of sitting there awkwardly, I hear her giggling from beside me. I feel frozen in place as someone covers my mouth with their hand. Part of me wants to jump out of the car and scream but I sit still. Why is she giggling? Does she not realize I'm about to be murdered?

"Surprise!" I know that voice instantly. It's Rusty. He shouldn't be home until tomorrow, leaving me wondering how he could be here. He leans forward and plants a kiss under my ear. "Je t'aime", he whispers.

"I love you too", I say. I'm panicking on the inside. And I can't help but feel a little disappointed he's back. I missed him and all but that doesn't stop the growing desire I have to spend another night with Brennan. I am the worst girlfriend ever. Scratch that. Worst person ever.

"I got an early flight, so I could spend some more time with my favorite girl." Oh.

"Well, I'm happy." I don't deserve him.

"Me too. I saw Sara driving past so I asked where she was going." Funny how fate works sometimes. The goofy grin on his face is so innocent. Any girl would be so lucky to have him. "Come sit on my lap" he instructs.

I fling my body over the middle console and land in a pile next to him. That'll probably leave a bruise. I crawl over to him and sit on his lap. He places his hands on my thighs, but slowly moves them up until they reach my bottom. Rusty tries to make another move, and I almost let him, before remembering we aren't alone.

Thankfully the car comes to a stop, and Sara turns off the car before jumping out. "Coming?", she winks. I didn't even realize we are here.

We get out and walk towards the lake. The murky green water here never fails to disgust me. It's a hot day, it's not even noon yet and my phone says it's 79 degrees. We find a spot on the grassy hill to lay down our stuff. I can see that Rusty notices the t-shirt I'm wearing as I pull it over my head. He raises his eyebrow but doesn't question it.

He rubs on my sunscreen then speaks.

"So... Brennan is supposed to meet us here in about 10 minutes. Should we wait here, or get a spot on the buoys?"

The buoys are the yellow poles which wrap around the swimming area. They are where everyone hangs out, and I can already see at least thirty people straddling them out in the water. When too many people are out there, they sink too low to even reach. My mind is lost... What did he just say?

"What?!" I say. Confusion is clear in both of their eyes. I almost forget she doesn't know.

"Brennan is coming to chill with us. Is that okay with you?" No, it is not. I don't trust myself with him this soon. But I can't tell him that.

"I'll get a spot, I'll let you guys wait."

"Sure?", He asks.

"Yeah, whatever" I need to get away, and I need to breath. I begin running at full speed for the water. The sand burns my feet but the icy water instantly numbs the pain. When I reach deeper water, I dive in and swim hard until my arm crashes against the buoys. I pull myself up and squint at the bright sun overhead.