I Broke You

Chapter 7

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"You are terrifying and strange and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love." -Warsan Shire

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Very, very short chapter! Also I'm going to start updates only once a week now on Tuesdays. Thank you to the few of you who continue reading this, it means the world to me! Enjoy, and have a lovely day(:

He's been gone for hours now- I've been spending all this time crying my eyes out with my Beatles record playing over and over. I don't even know if the sun is shining or if the thunders rolling. I do not have the energy to move my eyes to the window.

A quiet knock taps on my door. "Come in", I say as I wipe my eyes and nose on his t-shirt.

My mom walks in and sits on the floor next to me.

She wipes a secluded tear from my face. "I heard you two talking earlier."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know he was coming. I told him to lea-"

"He's an asshole, darling", she whispers making me laugh; the action feels so foreign.

"What did you hear?"

"Enough. I know it's not fair, honey. You did nothing wrong. Rusty obviously doesn't deserve someone as good as my daughter. I heard him say he was just using you? Then you told him to get out." Now she's the one laughing. She doesn't know the truth. "I always knew he was venomous."

"You don't understand, mom.", I sob.

She scoots closer to rub my back. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I shake my head no. She hasn't been here for me in the past years and now so suddenly she's back all at once. This is what I want but I'm not ready quite yet. "Then I'll talk, you listen."

I look into her blue orbs as she begins her story. I wish I had her pretty eyes.

"It was summer, 1979. I was 13 and just got this big ol' perm." She motions with her hands. She's the best storyteller on earth, I swear it. "The girls and I were at the mall when Sheryl saw Kevin coming over by us. Now you must understand that I had the biggest crush on him and his hazel eyes." She pauses, probably remembering the days before she had kids "I was scared senseless, Em. After applying 10 coats of lipstick he was standing in front of us and asked of he could talk to me in private! In that moment I felt higher than a space cadet. Than everything flipped; Kevin asked if Sheryl had a boyfriend. Heartbroken is the term, I believe."

"What'd you tell him?" I've heard the story a million times when I was a kid so I know the ending, but it never gets old.

"I told him the truth. You know why?" I shake my head. "I told Kevin the truth because I knew he didn't like me that way. And I knew that if we were truly meant to be we would have our own moment". She pauses. "Sure enough, a few years later we ran into each other at a party and hit it off. Then I married the old goof."

Maybe if I'm lucky Rusty would come back if I told him my secret. Why can't I have a romantic love story like my parents? I had it before ruining it all with Brennan. It was better, even. I hate Bren for using me like that and then just abandoning me. Cheating ruins everything. All it takes is once and you've got a broken future composed of contorted lies.

"Honey?"

"Huh? Yeah, that's nice mom."

"Now let me finish." There's more?

"Don't look so worried. What I'm trying to tell you darling, is that anything can change. Excuse me if that seems cliché, but it couldn't be further from the truth. Life is not measured in years, or even seconds. No sir, it's made out of moments. Each moment can be unexpected and wonderful and beautiful...or it can be heartbreaking, devastating and bring tears to your eyes...Now don't look at me like I'm some wild woman, it's true! Just remember this moment might be shitty, but tomorrow? Those who don't believe in happiness and miracles will never have them. Or worse, maybe they already do but are too blind to see them. In the bad there is good and good in the bad. That's just life, baby girl. Have faith and it'll all work out. Promise." she holds her pinky out to mine and I lace it through hers. Here is the mother I've missed all these years. Maybe she wasn't the one that changed after all...It could've been me.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you and dad last year, mom." I don't need to specify, she knows exactly what I'm talking about. I never apologized after it happened. As far as I was concerned, it wasn't their problem. I could see the pain it caused them but I didn't care.

"I know." She hugs me for a moment until finally pulling back. "You've had a rough day, I think what you need is a friend over".

"Can Rusty come over?" Confusion overcomes her face. It clears when she realizes the truth... Rusty wasn't the boy that crawled inside my bedroom window.

"I suppose so".

"Thanks mom." I hug her and jump to my feet.

"Behave", she warns before walking out.

I dial his number and wait for him to pick up.

Ringgggg.

Ringgggg.

"Hey Emma"

"Come over"

"Wait, hold on. I thought you were grounded?"

"I am... Just come over"

"I don't kn..."

"I need you. Just, please come"

He sighs before speaking again. "Give me fifteen minutes. I love you".

"I love you".

I pull off Brennan's shirt and toss it into the garbage bin. I'm telling Rusty everything that happened so we can move on with our relationship. I owe it to us both.

I run into the bathroom to try and cover my blotchy red face and the circles under my eyes. After three coats of mascara, some eyeliner,and heaps of concealer I look fairly presentable. Next I take my dusty curling iron out and curl my ends before returning to my room.

It's true, a girl has two problems; too many clothes and nothing to wear. I don't want to look too dressy but I sure as hell don't want to end up in a sweatshirt and yoga pants.

Screw it. If he loves me, he won't care what I wear. I am just slipping on my pajamas when I hear the doorbell.

"I'll get it!", I scream. When I reach the bottom steps I see my dad has already let him in.

"You two keep the door open, you hear me?" He can't be serious.

"Yeah, dad." I take Rusty by his hand and lead him up the stairs. I'm really going to do this.