It's kinda sad and mentions depression, so don't read it if you're triggered by that kind of stuff
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It had been like this for days. Awsten couldn't get out of bed and he didn't have enough energy to talk. Sometimes Geoff would walk into the bedroom to make sure that Awsten ate something and there would be tears flowing from his eyes with no real sobs. Sometimes, at night, lying next to him in the same bed he would hear the heart wrenching sobs that tore Awsten's lungs apart viciously. This was the worst it had been in a while; it had been a good few months since the last episode of unmoving numbness. Geoff had always been by his side giving all the support he could. Once, Awsten had gotten out of bed and gotten some blueberries all by himself and Geoff was exhilarated. He wouldn't stop smiling and extolling him. These sad spells had always been a harsh contradiction of Awsten's normal behaviour; he was always the ray of sunshine that could brighten any day. When Awsten was upset, it took a toll on Geoff as well. He would always worry - even if he would never admit it to Awsten - it was evident by the dark marks under his eyes. Like blotches of spilt watercolour, Awsten thought - how beautiful self destruction can be. He once made the mistake of telling Geoff this - the one person he can trust most in the world told him that it was the stupidest thing he had ever thought and cuddled him so tightly to his chest.
By Geoff's count, it had been eight days since Awsten had stayed in bed and only come out to pee. This is why he was more than shocked - when he had been emailing with their manager about next steps for the band - to see a sleepy and disheveled Awsten standing in front of him sheepishly. His face instantly shone with happiness; pure felicity.
"What's up, buttercup?" Geoff asked in a cheery tone, he honestly had such a big smile on his face. He moved his laptop off his lap and put it on the beech wood coffee table. He opened his arms and Awsten practically fell into them. He shuffled his way into Geoff's lap and laid his head in Geoff's neck crease.
It was silent for a moment while Awsten thought about what he wanted to say, even though he had been thinking about it for an hour before he even got out of bed. "Can I paint your nails, please?" Awsten's voice came put quiet and weak and slightly raspy from all the crying; Geoff thought it sounded like music on a bad day.
"Of course you can, sunshine." Geoff didn't hesitate in the slightest. Awsten had painted his nails before and he always loved them, showing them off to everyone he knew. "What colour were you thinking?" Geoff inquired, rubbing soft circles under Awsten's oversized sweater. With that, Awsten revealed two bottles of nail polish: one light blue, the other yellow. Just the colour choices made Geoff so incredibly happy. Geoff softly kissed Awsten's forehead before pushing him up slightly.
Without any words, Awsten unscrewed the light blue and covered Geoff's nails in it - slightly sloppy from the lack of sleep, but perfect to Geoff none less. After the first coat, Geoff made a show of trying to get them to dry: waving his arms about crazily and blowing at them enthusiastically. This earned a small smile from Awsten, so in Geoff's books, he won. The second coat was applied and this time, Geoff managed to convince Awsten to blow on them. Awsten started off less than sub par, but managed a giggle towards the end as he got more willing. Once this coat had dried, Awsten delicately a put circle of yellow on each nail. After that, Awsten frowned and tears came to his eyes. He tried to hide them from Geoff, but that was impossible. He was guided to Geoff's chest.
"Darling, what's wrong?" Geoff asked sweetly. Awsten felt weak - it was weak to cry and even worse to cry in front of people. Oh, he felt so worthless, but he sought after comfort that was quickly given to him. Awsten wasn't a wimp. Yes, he was crying because he didn't have a brush to do sun rays, but it was only because today was going sort of well and it was promising. First he stubbed his toe on the way out to the living room and now this.
Awsten had his head squished into Geoff's shirt as he whispered, "I need to do rays." He knew that what he said wasn't really a coherent string of words, but it was all he had.
Hearing that, Geoff pulled a bobby pin off of his denim jacket and showed it to Awsten. "Will this do?" Awsten sniffed and nodded, very appreciative of the resourcefulness that Geoff had. He took a deep breath in and dipped it into the yellow. He finished the sun rays and wanted to do smiley faces, he wanted to make Geoff happy, too. He knew that when he was sad, Geoff was too and wanted to cheer him up. He sniffed and lifted his head up to look around the room. He needed black for the eyes and smile - it was going to be happy, of course it had to smile.
Awsten's actions, caught Geoff's attention. "What're you doing, baby?" He rested his hands on Awsten's hips and started rubbing his thumbs on the skin in circles.
"M'lookin' for a black." Awsten replied, not really invested in the short conversation. With that, Geoff started looking, too.
"Would liquid eyeliner work?" Geoff asked, while staring at the bottle that was left by his sister when she came to visit last week. Awsten followed Geoff's gaze and nodded. He stretched over to where it was and grabbed it. He had a content smile as he tried to make the eyes even sizes and make the smiles not look demented. He succeeded.
Geoff looked over the beautiful art work and a goofy grin etched itself onto his face. "This is amazing, darling. I love you." He noticed the way Awsten's face lit up at the complement.
"I love you, too." Awsten murmured and Geoff smiled.
