Finding Finley ✔

12

I read and re read the text on Darby's phone, over and over, as if that will makes the words any different. I read it, and read it again, trying to make sense of it but I can't. When the screen goes black, I tap it and read it once more, who is Josh? 

No, that's a stupid question, I know who Josh is. This text makes it obvious who he is, he's Darby's boyfriend - her boyfriend of three years. She has a boyfriend. She's had a boyfriend for three years and last night she left him to come here, to me. All this time she's had a boyfriend, but last night she was with me and right now she's sleeping in my bed with her clothes on my floor. 

I close my eyes, squeezing them shut tightly as I try to contain the anger and the dull ache that is building in my chest. I refuse to have a panic attack right now, not when there's so many different emotions and thoughts racing through my mind. I take deep breaths, like Ellie and I have practiced, and place Darby's phone back on the nightstand. When I look over at her, her hair falling in her face and a small smile on her sleeping lips, it makes everything harder, because how could someone this beautiful and good be a liar? 

As quietly as I possibly can, I get out of the bed and pull on some clothes before slipping out of the room. I head towards the elevator, not entirely sure of my destination. Once I get to the ground floor I pull my phone out of my pocket and check the time. 7:34. 

I don't know what to do or where to go. I consider going to Ellie and telling her everything that has happened in the past three hours, but Ellie will just ask a lot of questions and I don't have answers right now. 

Maybe I should go back inside and wake up Darby, make her explain everything to me. I shake my head and walk outside and towards the parking lot. I don't want to be near Darby right now, I don't think I can handle being near Darby right now. 

Once I make it to my jeep, I get inside and drive towards the interstate, not really thinking of where I'm going but just driving. I don't stop anywhere, I drive for about an hour and then I get off on a random exit and turn around to drive back the way I came. The entire drive I think about the different ways I can handle this situation. 

Do I pretend I never saw the text? Do I confront her and ask her why she lied? Do I tell her to leave and just forget about her?

I can't pretend I didn't see the text, I can't pretend that I don't know she cheated on her boyfriend with me. Honesty is too important to me to do that. 

But I also know that I can't just forget about her, so that's not an option. As I park my jeep back in its usual spot, I turn the key and sit in silence, staring in the direction of the dorms. There's no way for this to have a happy ending, but I have to  decide that I have to confront her. 

When I get back to the dorm, Darby is sitting up in my bed, her sweater back on her body and her phone in her hand. Seeing her sitting there in my bed reminds me of everything that happened in the earlier hours of the morning. I feel sick, but I need answers, this can't wait.

"Hey, where were you?" She gives me a small smile as she pushes her hair out of her face and behind her ear before patting the bed, gesturing for me to join her. 

I stay where I am, my eyes on the phone that is now resting on her knee. Did she reply to him? What lie did she tell him to explain where she went in the middle of the night?

"Who's Josh?"

Her face immediately falls as her eyes get wide and her hands instinctively go to her phone. "How do you know-"

I cut her off. "Who is he, Darby?"

"He's no one." 

That's a lie and we both know it. I didn't think she would lie to me, not when she was already caught in the middle of one. The fact that she's not answering my question, the fact that she's still not being honest, makes the anger that I was trying to swallow come to surface. "Who is he, Darby?"

I can see the tears in her eyes, but I'm not going to hold her this time. 

"He's my boyfriend." She whispers as she hangs her head and covers her face with her hands.

"He's your boyfriend." I repeat her words as I run my hands through my hair in frustration. I start to pace in front of the door. "Why didn't you tell me you have a boyfriend? Why did you come here last night and tell me you like me, Darby? Why did you sl-"

She moves her hands from her face, but doesn't make a move to wipe away her tears. "Because I do like you, Finn. You don't understand, Josh is my boyfriend but he shouldn't be, not anymore. I just - I can't break up with him, not yet."

"Do you even hear yourself right now, Darby?" She flinches at my tone, but I don't seem to have any control over my emotions right now. I'm pissed. Every word that she says just makes it all so much worse. 

"Finn, I'm sorry. Just let me explain." She throws the blankets off her legs and stands, making her way towards me. 

I look towards Parker's empty bed, not meeting her eyes as she gets closer. "Finn, please just listen."

"Leave." I back away and the word comes out harsh - final. 

"Finn, no. Don't kick me out, just please listen to me. I can explain."

It's like I have no control of myself right now as I turn towards her, "Oh really, Darby? Can you explain how you've had a boyfriend for three years and you never thought to tell me? Can you explain why you cheated on your boyfriend last night?"

"Finn, I -"

"You got so pissed off at me when you thought Kit was me and Ellie was my girlfriend, but look at you." 

"Finn, please." She takes a step forward and I take a step to the right, making her a clear path to the door.

"Darby, leave before I say something I can't take back." It feels like my skin is on fire, I'm so mad. All I want to do is let out all the anger, but even now, I don't want to spit venom at her. So I clamp my mouth shut and wait for her to leave. 

She gathers her stuff, still crying and begging me to hear her out, but I can't. I can't listen to her right now because I just keep replaying memories in my head and the anger keeps building at the thought of how long she's been lying and how easily she's been doing it. 

When she finally leaves, before turning the corner towards the elevators, she looks back at me but I close the door. 

The last thing I see before I close the door and sink to the floor is Darby standing at the end of my hall in her baggy sweater and shorts, her hair a mess, her eyes red, and tears falling down her face - and dammit even though I don't want to feel this way, a part of me wants to run after her and comfort her.

I sit on the floor with my back against the door and my head in my hands for a while before I finally get up and take a shower. When I come back, my phone is ringing and Kit's picture is on the screen.  

I consider ignoring the call, but I'm sure he and Ellie are worried since I called them in the middle of the night and then ignored them when they called me back.

"Hey, man." I answer, putting him on speaker as I get dressed. 

"Hey, are you okay? We're sorry we missed your calls, we fell asleep in the living room watching a movie and our phones were on silent."

"It's okay, I'm fine. Can I come over though? I need to talk to you guys."

A few minutes later I'm on my way to their apartment. When I pull in to the parking lot, I can't help but scan the cars and wonder which one belongs to Josh or if he's even still here.