Finding Finley ✔

30

"I'm so happy for you, Darby!" Ellie pulls Darby out from under my arm and into her own for a hug. 

We came straight from the mall to Ellie and Kit's to tell them the news. I've never seen Darby this happy and weightless, like she doesn't have anything holding her back anymore. The entire time that I have known Darby, Josh has been a burden she's had to carry, and now that he's gone and she's no longer afraid of him, it's like falling in love with a totally new side of her. 

We all go out to Rosie's and Darby repeats to Kit and Ellie everything that the cop told her. The entire night I watch her, watch as her dark eye light up more than they ever had before, watch as she laughs more and louder than normally. 

I nudge Darby with my elbow and she turns her smile towards me.

"I love you, you know that right?" I ask her quietly, even though Kit and Ellie are in there own little world across from us right now. 

"I know." She reaches for my hand, "I love you too, Finn. I never would have had the courage to do any of this without you. You made me brave enough to leave him, you made me see that I'm more than what he said I was. You tore down my walls and built my self worth back up." 

She lays her head on my shoulder and I drop a kiss on her head before Ellie looks away from Kit over at us. "I can't wait until you two get married. You're just so cute."

I laugh as Darby looks up at me, the promise of someday in her eyes. 

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Later that night, laying in Darby's bed, I wait for her to get out of the shower so we can continue the show we started together on Netflix.

I hear the door to her bathroom open and she steps out with her hair still wet, wearing nothing but a purple towel. She slowly walks over to the bed and sits on the edge beside me. I can tell by the look in her eyes that she wants to ask me something, but she's nervous about it. 

I try to keep my eyes on hers instead of traveling up and down her body and that towel. 

"So I was thinking..." Her voice trails off. 

"About?" 

"So...Bethany is going to go back home and live with her parents next semester and commute to save money and...and you know that I can't afford to live here by myself, I can barely afford to live her with a roommate. So I was thinking that maybe, if you want to, that me and you could maybe move in to one of the one bedroom units here." She's avoids my eyes and picks at the frayed edges on the bottom of the towel.

When I don't immediately respond she starts to retract her words. "It was just a thought, but we don't have to, it's okay. I can figure something out, maybe I can just take out a bigger loan and move into the dorms. Don't worry about it." She stands and starts to walk back towards the bathroom.

I grab her wrist and she stills. "Darby, look at me." 

When her eyes meet mine I pull her back down to the bed, closer to me this time. "Darby, I would love to live with you. Why wouldn't I want to wake up next to you every morning, come home to you every evening, and fall asleep beside you every night?" 

"I don't know, because I always have a bad case of bed head, I steal the blankets, and I'm not the best at cleaning." 

My hand moves to her face, tracing her lips with my thumb as I pull her closer to me. "I'm okay with that." 

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Turns out that the reason Josh was so high strung all the time is because he and his dad were doing some illegal things over at their company, all of which came out in his trial. Josh finally admitted to abusing Darby and attacking me in the parking lot, but those charges were the least of his worries, he had much bigger charges against him now, as did his dad. 

The day that Josh was brought into the station his anger got the best of him and he ended up assaulting a police officer, which added another charge to his growing list, as well as causing him to lose whatever good graces he had with some of the officers.

Once summer rolls around again, I move out of the dorms and into the apartment that Darby and I will be sharing. We're on the same floor as Kit and Ellie for a few months while they finish remodeling and painting the house they had just bought. Over fall break, Darby and I help them move in to their new home. 

Kit and I try to have dinner at our dad's house at least once every two weeks, and we pick up Carson sometimes to take him to the park or the movies. Carson loves Darby and Ellie, and they love hanging out with him as much as Kit and I do. 

When Ellie first went back to the house to meet our dad again, he apologized to her for everything that happened the first time they met, and all of Ellie's reservations about him went away when she finally saw for herself how sincere he truly is. 

I don't get nightmares or panic attacks anymore, and I think that it has a lot to do with the fact that I got all the answers that I've been needing for so many years.  

My dad is back in my life, and as it turns out, he never really wanted to leave in the first place. 

Kit is healthy, his six month check ups always come back clear.

I'm am identical twin, and I know now that just because some people don't see us as two different people, that doesn't matter because the people who matter do. 

I have a family, and I realize now that they're not going anywhere. 

I have Darby and she's safe. 

I just had to find myself, find a way to be happy and comfortable with myself to stop the crushing weight and the fear, and I think I finally did that. I finally found myself.