Finding Finley ✔

19

I'm not sure when or how to bring up the visit with my dad to Kit. I know he won't want to hear it, not only because he believes that our dad is a piece of shit with every fiber of his being, but also because Kit loves our mom and won't want to accept that she is anything less than the perfect and strong woman that raised us. Of course I love her too, but I also know that everyone makes mistakes and has secrets. No one is perfect.

I can't find it in me to be truly angry with my mom. How could I? She has spent the past sixteen years of her life raising Kit and I alone. Yeah sure my dad had always been helping her financially, apparently, but it's always been her and us. Grandma lived with us sure, but she was just a live in babysitter, she never offered any parenting advice or real aide. 

When Kit was diagnosed, my mom was all I had. I just can't make myself feel the hate and anger towards her that I know I probably should. She ran our dad out of our lives and then lied to us about it all for what, to be a single mom? There has to be more to it than that.

There's still a lot I still don't understand about all of this and I still  have a lot of questions, but right now I just need to focus on telling Kit. The rest we can figure out together. 

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Ellie is and always has been a bit of a weirdo. 

However, ever since the night we went out to dinner with Maci and Jake, Ellie has been weirder than normal. 

While Kit was also acting odd that night, at least he seems to have recovered from it. The three of us are currently scattered across their living room studying, and I keep catching Ellie staring at me instead of her text book.

"El, you know I can see you staring at me, right?" I glance up from my computer and see her looking at me intently, almost as if she's trying to convey a telepathic message to me. Or fry my brain, I'm not sure. 

"I'm not staring at you, ugly." She sticks her tongue out at me.

"Hey, don't call him ugly." Kit pretends to be offended from his place on the couch.

Ellie gives him a smile, "He's ugly, you're not."

"That literally makes no sense, if I'm ugly then he's ugly too." I roll my eyes and turn my attention back to my Chemistry notes. 

Ellie and I are in the same Chem class, and we are both totally clueless the entire ninety minutes that we're stuck in the classroom. Luckily there's a study group that took pity on us, and twice a week they try their best to explain the chapters to the two of us.

"Hey, do you still have those pictures you took of Jen's notes last week?" I ask Ellie as she stands up, sitting her book on the table.

"They're on my phone, you can send them to yourself." She slaps my head as she walks past me, making her way towards the kitchen. 

I reach for her phone on the coffee table beside her textbook. I look at the page she's on and laugh when I see that she's still on the introduction to the chapter. How long has she been staring at me? 

I click the home button on her iPhone and frown when I'm asked for a pass code.

"Kit, what's her password?" 

"Wedding date." He mumbles as he continues to type away on his laptop.

I stare at him from my seat on the floor until he finally moves his eyes from his screen and to me. "Seriously, Finn? You were the best man."

I shrug my shoulders and Kit rolls his eyes before giving me the numbers I need to unlock Ellie's phone. I click the gallery icon and and scroll through her pictures looking for the Chemistry notes.