Dear Bully, (Brandon Rowland fanfiction)

Note #50

It was now October 18th. Tomorrow I'm going to kill myself. So far, the same things has happened.

Brandon is still bullying me. I'm still giving Hunter the silent treatment. And for Ashton, he's still getting bullied as well.

Christine had already told his principal that he was getting bullied, but the principal didn't do anything. This made Christine mad. I could see that she was going through a lot of stress.

I didn't want to get in her way. So, I sat in my room, well should I say, the guest bedroom. I was on my bed, writing down stuff on my notebook. I looked over at my plans. Well, more likely, my suicide plans.

I still didn't know what I should do to kill myself. Should I hang myself? Overdose on pills? Or maybe jump off a building or something? I don't know anymore.

I just want it to kill me instantly. What felt like a while, I finally knew it. I should hang myself. And with that, I had the thick rope ready. I just had put it under the bed for tomorrow.

Hunter barged in the room without knocking. Probably, it might be a bad idea to hang myself? I mean he might come in while I am doing so.

I closed my notebook so he won't see what I had written. "Jamie? Are you okay?" , Hunter asked. I nodded and gave him a fake smile.

What I had meant to do was say, "No, I'm not okay. I'm broken, shattered, torn apart. And there's nobody that can help me. I feel so alone, so lost, so weak, so hopeless." But, of course I didn't. I didn't want Hunter to worry about me. I didn't want him to be questioning me and I didn't want me, myself to be piling my tears and sadness on Hunter's back.

I don't want to seem like an attention-seeker, if you know what I mean.

I remember when I was a born and brought to this world, I thought nothing really bad can happen. I thought that I was going to be happy, happy with my so called, mom and dad, and even with my older sister, Alyssa.

It's now like my sister doesn't care enough to look back and visit me. She's now in college, living life to the fullest. She's happy and healthy, she didn't need me in her life. She never did.

Alyssa was better than me at everything I did. That's why mom and dad loved her more than they could ever love me.

Mom would always brag about her when her friends or our relatives would come over. Mom would say that she had good grades and had a high GPA. Mom would always put Alyssa in the picture and exclude me out. It was like I didn't exist. Like, I didn't exist in the family. It made me feel so alone.

It honestly hurt to see dad hugging her and telling her things a father should. Why? Because he never did that to me. It made me feel like I was different. No, not in a good kind of way. In a bad kind of way. I felt like I was different, like something was wrong with me.

I then started believing that MANY, and I mean MANY MANY MANY things were wrong with me. My smile. My brain cells. My hair. My nose. My eyes. My body.

Even the smallest things that I have. WRONG WRONG WRONG. EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH ME. Everything is wrong with me and I hate it so much.

"Look, Jamie. You know that you can't ignore me forever." , Hunter sighed, interrupting my thoughts. His eyes stared into mine. I looked away, not wanting to look at him in the face.

I bringed my knees to my chest, my arms wrapping around my legs and hugging it. I looked out the window to find the leaves beginning to fall off the tree that was in the front of the house.

"Why aren't you talking to me? Do you dislike me or what?" , he questioned. I didn't reply. I was going to say something but I just couldn't get it out of my mouth. I opened my mouth, but didn't say anything. There were no words that came out.

"Do you know what, forget it!" , Hunter said before leaving and slamming the door. I could tell he was angry. This was perfect. He's angry at me for ignoring him. This was all part of the plan.

I ripped out a piece of paper from my notebook and started writing a letter to send to Brandon.

Dear Bully,

Tomorrow's my birthday. I remember on my last birthday I wished for you and the others to stop torturing me. Sadly, it didn't come true. Should I say, it  never did.

But now, I wish for something else. And that wish will come true, I hope so. If not, then I have no other choice to make it come true.

If my wish comes true, well then that would be good. Because I know that I ain't the only one who wishes that. :))

Thanks for making my life miserable and a living hell, Brandon.

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Yoooo, this is the longest chapter that I have ever written so far. Phew!😅

Anyways, I'm glad you guys like the book. 💝💞 I'm planning to end the book soon though. The next chapter will be the last of "Dear Bully," so get ready to have some tissues near you cause, you know what's going to happen next...😮😏

Random Fact: I have 2 sisters (one big sister and one little sister) and 2 brothers (one older brother and one little brother).

One last thing, I'll make sure to post the last chapter tomorrow. But it might take long because that's when everything happens okay? Okay.