When War and Lies Collide

With All My Heart

The next morning, Loki awoke early.  Very early.  The sun had hardly risen in the sky and not even the slightest sliver of orange glow had made it past the curtains yet.  Sif lay sleeping, curled up under the blankets next to the spot Loki had been laying in.  It would be a big day for her and the rest of the warriors, they had to prepare themselves for war.

The prince only took a few moments to admire how peaceful she looked as she slept, kissing her gently on the forehead before he came to terms with what he must do.

On the other hand, Loki had one big thing on his mind.  He felt the overwhelming need to speak with his mother.  So, he had gotten out of bed before the sun rose, showered, got dressed, and headed out the door towards where he assumed Frigga would be.

Frigga was much like her 'son'.  Not just in some personality traits and having a gift with magic, but she could'nt sleep when she was stressed either.  Loki knew where she would be, and if anybody would be able to give him the smallest bit of comfort, it would be his mother.

The sun rose a tony bit higher into the dark sky as Loki made his way to the courtyard.  It was a peaceful place, filled with every beautiful flower, shrub, and tree a person could imagine.  It was a spot for thinking and for reflecting on one's life.  In this case, it was an escape from reality.  Sure enough, Frigga was seated on a detailed bench under an apple tree, a gift from Idunn.  They were one of Idunn's trees that produced golden apples, a key to the Norse gods' and goddess' immortality.    In Frigga's hand was the blossom of a crimson rose, Loki's mother rubbing her finger absently over the silky petals.

"Mother."  Loki spoke to warn her of his arrival, her face turning towards the sound.  Her expression had been solemn, but at the sight of her boy she brightened up.

"Loki, what are you doing up?"  She asked, a loving smile on her lips.

The prince strode over to the queen's side, sitting on the bench beside her.  He rested his hand on the bench, Frigga resting her's on top of his.  "For the same reason you are, I assume."  Loki answered in a calm voice, although Frigga sensed his terror.

She sighed, her eyes sympathetic.  "I wish I could promise you it would be alright in the end, but this battle's outcome is looking dim for us..."  She admitted, casting the flower aside.

"We will prepare as best we can."  He assured, looking back at her.

"I have a feeling the war isn't the main thing that is troubling you."  Frigga said back after a moment, scanning his expression.  She could always tell when something was bothering her boy, even when others could not.

"A few things are, I'll admit.  Sif will be fighting, and I can't bear losing her.  If she were to get hurt or- or- or if something were to happen to her!  I really don't know what I would do.."  Loki's voice cracked slightly, the raven haired prince shutting his eyes tight as if he could will the pain of it away.

"You cannot prevent her will or her duties, and you cannot stop her.  A determined woman can never be stopped.  But, you can stand by her.  You can support her the best you can, and in the absolute end, she will appreciate you for it."  Frigga said honestly, patting Loki's hand comfortingly.  Loki nodded, accepted the fact that there wasn't a way that he could keep her from the fight- but he could help her prepare for it the best he could.  "There is more troubling you?"  Frigga asked, although the question was more of a statement.

Loki's walls crumbled around Frigga, the queen being so understanding and caring towards him.  She always had been.  He wished more than anything that his actions hadn't hurt her like they did, she had always been so good to him.  Through everything, she had remained trustworthy.  She didn't deserve any of this.  

He thought for a moment, going over each of the problems he was facing.  In a heartbeat, he could face death.  All of Asgard would face death.  He didn't know who would make it out alive, and when he thought like that, one thing came to mind most.  "Odin hates me, does he not?"  Loki asked sadly, eyes lifting to his mother's gaze.

"He does not hate you, Loki.  He never has hated you.  I will admit, he can be quite the strict man...  That is just part of who he is and we must accept him for it.  You of all people should know how hard it is to change for the better, especially when we cannot see the bad of it."  Frigga answered, knowing her husband better than any person in the nine realms.  She loved Odin, and she knew who he was past his 'I-am-king' aura.

"But he would never forgive me."  Loki stated, a hint of anger mixed with sadness in his anguished tone.

"Loki.  Stop for one moment and ask yourself;" Frigga paused, making her son look at her.  "Have you ever truly and sincerely asked for his forgiveness?  I know how stubborn you both are, and neither of you like to budge.  But I think if you really went to him and admitted your faults, you would be surprised by the outcome.  And, in turn, I think he would admit to his own wrong-doings, also.  Sadly, I don't think there will be much time for that talk once the battle starts."  Frigga replied, seeing through Loki's emerald eyes that he was starting to understand.  

Each word that escaped her lip's showed him more hope, that there really was a chance to make up for his past.  And with all his heart, he wanted to fix things.  He had walked around for ages holding the guilt inside him, and it ate him alive.  It would explode in fits of rage and jealousy, and in turn, it pushed everyone away from him.  He would do anything to rid himself of the heavy guilt, and having a talk with Odin was one of them.

Finally, her son spoke.  "I will speak with Odin as soon as the sun has risen.  Thank you, mother.  You continue to surprise me with how wise you are."  He replied, his last sentence in a chuckle.

"Your mother is old, I'm supposed to know things by now!"  Frigga laughed, standing with Loki and wrapping him in a hig that seemed to last forever.  Loki wished it could have.  "You'll never comprehend how proud I am of you, Loki.  No matter what happens, I will always love you as my son.  You have and always will be my son."  

Her words brought a lump into Loki's throat, his eyes fighting tears.  To feel appreciated and loved no matter what he had done in the past was one of the best feelings, and to have it from a mother- his mother - was simply the best thing.  "I love you, mother."  He said softly, the statement seeming to release him from years of loneliness he had caused himself to endure.

"And I love you, Loki.  With all my heart, you know."  She replied sincerely, giving him one last hug before he headed back towards home.

Loki left Frigga feeling much better than he had been, a comforting aura surrounding him on his walk back to Sif.  He knew he was loved, and not only by Sif, but by Frigga too.  He wished he had known it would be some of the last words he would exchange with her.

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AHHH the next chapter!!  I really hope you enjoyed it, I loved writing a bit of Frigga! (:  Not too many things left on this story's outline!  Eeep!!

PLEASE, do not forget to vote and comment!  I've been seeing less and less of those, and I hope it's not because the story has gone downhill! :(

Talk to y'all later!  Have a great day c:

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