Stigma | Mark Lee

Chapter 4: Explore

Tuesday - 2:03 pm

I had three hours left before I had to meet up with Johnny. I was in Myeongdong taking advantage to do some shopping while I'm in Seoul. Although everyone back in Chicago, thought I was just here to visit my brother, which was partly true, I came here to decide if I wanted to stay here.

My parents suggested it, since I'm 18 and I can take care of myself. But, it was because I wanted to get away from certain people back in my neighborhood. I thought after graduating high school, they would stop bothering me, but then I found out some of them were probably going to the same university as I was.

I'm a victim of notorious bullying, some would say it wasn't bad because they wouldn't hurt me physically, but the emotional abuse, was too much. I don't even know how I survived the last months of senior high. But I did, and I want a clean slate, away from toxic people.

Johnny didn't know that though, he didn't know I was bullied in school when he left to become a SM trainee. He didn't need to be bothered about his sister miles and hours away. Training and being away from home was already stressful for him.

There were several video calls where I was crying in front of him, but I'd lie, saying its because I failed a test. Although, I have cried over having bad grades before, I was 12 years old then. I haven't cried over low grades, since. The main reason why I didn't tell him, was because he was partly the reason why I was being bullied, but I didn't blame him.

"Jenny! Your brother is in NCT right? Can't you hook me up with him?" Rebecca asked smiling.

"No," I said as I walked away from her.

"Don't turn your back, at me you bitch!" she shouted as I kept walking.

When Johnny left to become a SM trainee, people started saying things like, "Your brother won't debut, he looks so ugly, SM must've made a mistake."

Some even said it was a lie and Johnny was going to rehab for being a drug addict, I don't understand why they would make up such things. But, I couldn't stay quiet, so I always defended him and they would always fight back harder. They would make fun of my appearance for being Asian.

"Look Jenny is trying to look more American again,"

They said when I was just wearing a red flannel shirt and a black top underneath.

A tear slips my eye and I wipe it off, "You came here to make happy memories, not to remember sad ones."

I walked it off and I felt my phone vibrate.

Caller ID: nctlittlebro

I cough to clear my throat and I answer the call, "Hello Mark."

"Hi Jenny," I cringe at him calling me Jenny.

"Can you not call me by that name?" I said as I continued to walk.

"Oh right, sorry. May I ask why?" Because the people who bullied me used that name. At least here I can use my Korean name.

"Maybe, next time," I said and I suddenly could hear his panting over the phone.

"Are you on break?" I asked as I was walking into Zara.

"Yeah," he said.

"For how long?" I looked through blouses.

"10 minutes," he said and I heard a water bottle being squeezed.

"Are you actually resting?" I asked moving on to pants.

"Yeah, I'm listening to your soothing voice," he said and I could feel my cheeks warm up.