Johnny's little sister Seo Min Jee or "Jenny" came from Chicago to spend time with her older brother for the summer in South Korea. She was supportive of her brother's idol career, but wasn't really intrigued to meet with his members. She didn't wan...
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Saturday - 7:43 am
It's been two days since everything went down. For the past two days I had to reassure myself that I'm okay. That what happened wasn't mine or his fault, and that it happened. I had a full blown anxiety attack.
I haven't had one in a while, the times I was crying or having a bad day, they were either normal breakdowns or just me being extremely sad.
Today, however I was feeling better.
When everything happened Johnny explained - with my hesitant permission - to the members what happened that night. My phone was filled with messages and I felt bad.
They all got so worried and that was another thing I had to convince myself, to not feel guilty for. People get worried, people get concerned, it's part of being human.
Today I was alone and I felt okay. The last two days, Johnny, Jaehyun, Taeil and Taeyong kept me company. I realized it was because they were the older members and that's why Johnny trusted them to keep an eye on me.
Mark, Lucas and the dreamies constantly texted, but I'd just leave them on read. It was hard - hard to pretend that I was okay, so I rather not reply and say, 'I'm fine'.
The only people I replied to was my family and Betty. They knew how to talk to me when I was in this state.
I open my messages to see Jaehyun messaged me in the group chat. The four created a group chat, just to cheer me up whenever they had to leave for practice or other idol related things.
7:47 am
*jinjjajaehyun sent a message in cheer up jee-ya!*
jinjjajaehyun: good morning jee-ya! are you headed to eat breakfast?
I stare at the message. Maybe I should reply, I should try, I'm feeling better anyway.
Me: I am
jinjjajaehyun: that's great! by the way we're really busy today, so we won't be able to stop by, will you be okay?
Although I wanted to be alone the last two days, I knew being with company helped a lot. Could I spend my day alone today?
Me: don't worry, I have fast wifi and a laptop to keep me company! ☺️
jinjjajaehyun: that's the spirit! talk to you later!!!
I was about to leave the group chat when I saw the other icons saying that they were typing.
