Hidden Scars (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 16

"I-I can explain-"

Louis stopped himself when Harry turned around with an expression Louis had never seen him wearing. Harry cheeks were stained with tears and Louis saw what he held in his hands. They were trembling, just like his lower lip. Louis had never seen Harry cry before and after this he certainly never wanted to see it again.

"Harry I-"

"Y-you...you...w-w-why?" Harry's voice was silent but the it screamed with hurt in Louis' ears.

"Give it back to me." Louis came and reached forward to grab the metal from Harry's hand but Harry pulled back.

"W-when were you planning to tell me? After all this time, you said nothing about this. Zayn said nothing about this."

"It wasn't Zayn's matter so he didn't say anything. It was mine and I didn't want you to know-"

"Why? Did I mean nothing to you that you kept such a huge thing from me? I told you repeatedly that I won't judge you, that I won't leave you, you still kept this from me! Did my words mean nothing to you? You thought they were nothing but a lie?" Harry started shouting. His voice was laced with grief and betrayal.

Louis' tears didn't take time to start flowing. "They did mean. Harry, they meant so much to me but-"

"That's why you took so long in the bathroom this morning?" Louis stayed silent. "You didn't clean up good. I saw the blood Louis. I saw it. Do you have any idea what I went through because of that? No! You don't! I fucking care so much about you and yet you still manage to push me away! Why do you do this?"

"I didn't ask you to care for me, alright? You have no idea what I'm going through."

"Maybe because you haven't told me yet."

"You...you're blaming this all on me? I didn't want any of this to happen to me! I never wanted any of this to happen to me! I didn't stay up at night praying to god to make my life miserable! I didn't ask god to not let any of my nights go by without me fucking crying myself to sleep! You have no idea what it's like!"

The air became tensed. Louis was furious because Harry knew nothing about him and he didn't know how hard it is to talk about such things. Harry was furious because Louis didn't trust him, didn't believe in him at all. Even after all those breakdowns, Harry managed to calm Louis down, they still didn't matter.

"I have no idea? I have no idea?! I have a perfect idea about it Louis! I lost my sister to this devil! I couldn't help her! We talked but it wasn't enough! I tried helping her but it wasn't enough! She didn't even leave behind a note! She's gone, forever! Just because of this useless excuse of relief!" Harry threw the blade across the room aggressively, making Louis flinch in fear.

Louis was shocked. Harry was now wailing. He never knew that Harry lost his sister because of suicide. He had lost her forever and losing someone you love, now that's a feeling Louis is experienced of. But then something clicked inside Louis' head.

"So you only wanted to help me because you felt sorry for me? I was a charity case to you?"

Harry's head snapped at Louis.

"No! God no! Why would you think like that?"

"Because that's what it seems like."

Harry wiped his tears, more flowing but still, stepped forward. He was still trembling after mentioning what happened to his sister.

"Louis, you don't get it! I've been asking Zayn all of the time of when I should tell you this but I don't fucking care anymore." Louis' heart shattered. Harry doesn't care anymore?