Keith's diary

Keith's diary 8, whole lot of nope

//Tw/ mentions of self-harm, health issues, intrusive thoughts(ish) and nightmares(?)//

Dear diary
My life has been all over the place. I've gotten into old, bad habits and it all started because of one person. One person who is important enough to make me feel happy and to make me feel awful.

Lance. He started dating someone, a girl. She was pretty, smart and skinny. They broke up during the start of the holidays, but they started dating on the second last week of term.

I was a mess, in many ways I still am but it's Lance. I haven't talked to him in ages, the problem is it wasn't because I didn't talk to him, it was because he didn't talk to me. He left me alone, and I started self-harming again. I'm not proud of it, but I feel like I can't stop.

Here's the thing- Lance texted me the other day to see if we could watch a movie, I didn't want to but I said yes. Now I'm seriously regretting it. I'm meeting him tomorrow, but I'm so scared. I like him so, so much but he left me and that hurt like a bitch. But I still need him I feel empty and lost without him.

I know I sound pathetic but he was holding me together and now I'm falling apart. Casey lost her job, Sky's father is sick, Lance was dating someone and my no-sleep problems are getting worse.

My life is falling apart inch by inch and this is why I'm seeing Lance. Because before he broke my heart he fixed it. I'm hoping he can fix it again.

I want to be happy again

Sincerely Keith

It was dark and raining, Keith had just got home from work, it was a longer shift then usual but he needed the money right now. Casey lost her job, she has 2 weeks left before they let her go which means money will be tight. A man named Jared- sky's father- is really sick. He's an alcoholic and a smoker. His bad habits are taking effect now, with a blood clot in his right lung, this can be fatal if it doesn't heal.

The small boy put the book away and changed out of his work uniform. He put on some shorts and a black T-shirt before slipping into his bed.

He checked the time,

11:24pm

He knew sleep didn't come easily for him any more but he needed some tonight. He was meeting Lance early tomorrow and needed to get some shuteye.

It was colder then most nights so he was able to feel more comfort from wrapping himself in his sheets. He looked up for a brief moment, admiring his stars before turning on his side and staring at his blue wall. Keith was determined to get some sleep so he shut his eyes, thinking about what would happen tomorrow.

It took a while but he finally aloud sleep to fall upon himself.

~yeetity yeet I need sleep~

Keith woke up to the loud sound of thunder, their was a gasp as he sat up.

"another nightmare" Keith mumbled. He wiped the sweat from his forehead.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment before seeing the creature from his dream, chasing him again. He opened his eyes and heard another roar of thunder.

He checked the time,

7:51am

"great" Keith slowly got up. Groaning as the cool air hit him. He grabbed the nearest jumper and his towel before walking to the bathroom. Keith climbed into the bath, it was currently filling up with warm water. The boy didn't care much for bubbles so instead he just let the bath fill to the brim.