I'm Not A Fan (BTS x reader)

Chapter 77- Choices?

Is this a dream?

Everything was white, I can see mom seating next to me, she was drinking tea calmly.

"hello honey", she smiled as she finally knew I was awake. I smiled and kissed her cheek, "hello eomma...where am I?", I looked around with a wondering look on my face. She laughed, "well, that question will be answered later, I want to know about your life before this", she said before she pour a cup of tea for me. I took the tea in my hand and swirled the tea with the teaspoon.

"I don't recall what happened.... Eomma... Is narcolepsy is what I'm suffering now?", I asked before I took a sip of the tea. She sighed, "yeap, infact, you followed my blood.. Your daddy is a healthy person, I really hoped you would follow his blood instead of mine... I'm sorry you have to go through this", she rubbed her temple with her fore finger. I frowned to myself, "then am I going to die, like this?".

She shook her head, "you can change the way you want to die, either you want to die right now or not", she simply answered. Mom's word made me more confused, "then.. If you know you have choice to live or die, why did you choose leaving me and daddy?". She looked at me and had a sorry look, "it's complicated...".

"what's complicated?", I asked again. She looked down to her tea, "before I passed out, me and your dad had our first fight in marriage and it was about your future.. I was thinking too much of your safety in the future because your dad...previously didn't put much attention to you, I want him to pay attention to you not only to his career as a police officer".

"that's why you want to let it be like this? Eomma.. Me and daddy really feel at lost when you were gone", I gritted my teeth, holding down my tears, "eomma, you should know that I can take care of myself, you didn't have to leave us". She smiled to me before she placed her hand on my head, ruffling it gently, "I know but my death did changed your dad, he changed into a more caring person, that's why I didn't regret what I did". I bit my own lip gently.

She placed her cup of tea on to the table and looked at me, "so? Any of the thirteen guys you think will be good for you?", she smiled slowly.

My face made a disbelief look, "eomma, why is that question should be ask by you?". She pinched my cheeks, "honeeeeyyy, be truth to yourself..... It's your choice, that Kim Taehyung is one of my choices, I also like Park Jaehyun...oh and Kim Seokjin he's a charmer~ ....ah and also both of the Busan guys, Jeon Jungkook and Park Sungjin, both of them are good too". My jaw dropped to mom's choices of guys. She knows them?

"eomma? How did you know their names?", I asked while tilting my head to the side in confusion, demanding for an answer. She grinned, "well duh~ I watched you guys and I watched their past, the ones I like the most was Jung Hoseok, he had hard times when he was little even when he's older, so who's your choice?".

That's a hard question. I thought to myself, 'I'm not sure'. If I were to just chose to die, then I'll leave all the worries in my mind on choosing who I want and trust, but during that time I'll worry them instead and daddy would be sad if I leave him too just like mom did.

Ahhh....I'm confused.

If I chose to just move on, I'll still have the worries burden on my shoulder and no one would be worry of me, but I'm still not sure.

Should I just live?

Should I chose (***)

((***) means the guy the reader finally chose in the end)

I mean, I really like him, he's comfortable to be with.

He's also gentle and warm.

Everything about him feels great to me.

Every time I would think of him, my heart flutters.

His gentle touches.

His voice.

His warm smile.

Am I in love with (***)?

Oh god, please...this decision is the most important for me.

Ok, let me think staright, am I seriously in love with him?

I don't understand myself.

[Miru's note:~ this story is nearly at It's end, ohhh noooooo, ahahahhaha BEWARE AGAIN MY LOVELIES :D]

It's a new feeling for me.